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Child in care because i couldnt manage...

(2 Posts)
Ohjustwhatthehell Thu 19-Nov-15 17:25:56

I couldnt manage my childs behaviour. I had tried camhs, social services, school etc. For help. Everything you could think of, i tried. Even so much as video footage for the GP to see.
There were clearly issues there, and for those who had been around my child were able to see this.
The likes of camhs, doctors, social services didnt. They assumed it was boundary pushing. As did the school for a short time.
I literally begged social services for help. They refused to open a case. Encouraged me to keep on keeping on as i was doing great.

The backstory is massive so ill just get on with today and now.
My child is in a secure unit. Social services are going for a full care order with the grounds of risk of significant physical and emotional harm. My solicitor has assured me that this does not mean this would come from me, but stated more for the reasons my child would be a risk to themself.

The report also blames me for 'allowing' myself to be in a domestic violence relationship.
It also brings up shit from my past. It also states that i take no responsibility for what is happening with my child and that i am more so wanting to play games with my childs father.
Bull fucking shit!

I didnt ask to be in a domestic violence relationship. As soon as i realised i sought help and left. This was not a physical abusive relationship, but emotional. I did the freedom programme etc.
I was aware of the impact this probably had on my children and made huge steps to better myself, and my life in order to create a better, more stable life for my children.
The shit from my past is absolutely irrelevant. It is going back 10+ years. Nothing at all to do with this care order.
I could not possibly be playing games with my childs dad as i have had no involvement with him for years. There is no communication. I do not know him, so i couldnt make any comments even if i wanted to.
I do accept responsibility for my child, otherwise i never would have been trying to seek help, i never would have tried everything i did try, i never would have held my hands up and said i couldnt do it.
I have done nothing but try and work with relevant agencies in order to try and figure out the best course of action for my child. I have also repeatedly said "if we could find out the underlying issue, then we could find the best way of dealing with the behaviour".

I have openly admitted that my life, my anxiety, my bad relationship choices could very well, and most probably have had a negative impact on my children.

However, all i can do now is try and make improvements where i am lacking. Which i have done. I did do quite some time ago, and continue to do so.

I am pissed off that all of these negative thongs that are being said are lies. I am not stupid. I know when and where i have gone wrong. I know where and when i could have done things differently/better. I also know that honesty is very important in order for my child to receive the correct level of care.
If my child was only like this due to my lack of parenting, then surely in a better and more stable environment, things would have improved. Not escalated to a point a secure unit was sought!

My biggest worry now is if all of these lies get logged, then all it will take is one little report. One hospital visit, maybe and that would be it. My files would be brought up and this would be all they see! I would lose my other children.
The children who have had assessments, along with myself by social services and thencase was closed filled with positivity. Even though another child of mine was in care, at that time.
Previous social service involvement (after domestic violence), closed the case with nothing but positivity.

I just think it is a pretty shitty arsed move, when i really have tried my best. My child has now (now hands have been forced into funding), has been diagnosed with a couple of things. They even so much as suspect schizophrenia.

I dont understand why they have felt the need to lie like that! I really dont. I thought these people were there to help.
The only reason they got involved in the first place was because police were at my address daily due to assaults made by my child. It became a safeguarding issue for my other children and police said they were going to force social services hand and took my child. They told social services if they were to send my child back home they would be forced to put my other children under child protection.

I have never had an easy route to go down and now it feels they have backed me into a corner with nowhere to turn.

No matter how i speak up, or what i speak up about - they seem to turn it against me somehow. At the same time, if i do nothing they turn that against me too.

Ohjustwhatthehell Thu 19-Nov-15 18:06:45

To be told i need to maintain regular phone contact and when my child is 'too busy' to talk to me at the specified allocated time it is made out that i never called, when i did!

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