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Long periods of time out for 5 yo at school

(6 Posts)
Brookville Mon 16-Nov-15 19:58:06

After two weeks of good behaviour in September, DS1 (5) seems to spend his playtime in 'time out' (12 minutes today). He is always let out last at home time as there is always some story for the teacher or TA to relate to me about his hitting of others, destroying their work and today, his manifesting visible delight in having pushed someone off a piece of playground equipment. Yes, it's horrendous and I am mortified but things are bad at home to around his sibling and us - violent outbursts, defiance and no remorse or empathy. He had the same issues at nursery and I told the school all this when he started.
I am starting to wonder about a spiral of negativity here.
What does anyone else think about such heavy sanctions in Reception year?
I am not for a minute suggesting a light touch but here's the thing: this boy does not demonstrate any empathy, nor does he care if he misses out on playtime. In other words, depriving him of treats / playtime or whatever DOES NOT positively influence his behaviour or get rid of the problem. In other words, he does not think, oh, I'd best not whack so and so over the head or else I won't get to play. He does not work like that.
I am tired and at my wits' end. Should I try and see a private ed. psych for some advice? Thanks all.

30andtired Mon 16-Nov-15 20:26:56

How does he work? What does he respond well to?

Does he have much of an attention span? Does he have any hobbies?

Does he get much time alone with you and /or Dad?

CocktailQueen Mon 16-Nov-15 20:33:34

I'm surprised the trencher hasn't already suggested that if time out isn't working. Does he have any SENs? An IEP?

I'd make an appt with the teacher to discuss next steps, or speak to your hv if this doesn't work. Good luck.

CocktailQueen Mon 16-Nov-15 20:33:39

Teacher, not trencher! Ffs.

NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown Mon 16-Nov-15 21:28:51

Don't get me started on children missing playtime..angry

Is there a chance he finds playtime hard so is acting out to get out of it?

I too would be pushing for a chat with the Senco. I know I'm in the minority but I don't think many small children misbehave for the sake of it, they're usually trying to communicate something and I'd want to be finding out what

Brookville Tue 17-Nov-15 11:13:39

Thanks for your replies. I'm going to give it a couple more weeks with their 'zero tolerance approach' and if there's no change I'll push for different support.
A friend mentioned the Failsafe elimination diet to improve behaviour but it would be my last resort...

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