DS constantly worrying I'm going to die(4 Posts)
DS is 6 and usually a happy, secure child who has not been through anything difficult or lost anyone close to him. A couple of weeks ago he was home with DH and I was a bit late back from having my hair cut which took longer than I thought, just an hour or so and he became hysterical, crying, thinking I was dead. Now when I go out he insists on coming with me, i.e. to walk the dog and if he can't, he cries and tells DH he thinks I'm dead. He asks if the roads are busy because his biggest fear is i'll be run over and noone will tell them. Before he goes to sleep he asks if anyone is going out the house
Please tell me this is one of those things 'they all go through'!
hi there, something will have triggered this particular anxiety you can be sure. As it seems to be to do with a road accident it may be some news report he saw on TV or even a conversation overheard. He is certainly a sensitive soul and a worrier - my DS was like this and still is! I would suggest that you are patient and loving and above all listen. No-one should dismiss or belittle his fears as they are very real to him. Six is very young but if he can formulate worries in his mind he can probably articulate them.
He will inevitably 'harden' to some extent and conform to social expectations but he will internalise his anxieties. What he will need is your input to develop ways of coping. It is probably rather difficult if not impossible for someone who isn't a 'worrier' to do this. Soon he will be old enough for you to have conversations with him about these things. It is often useful if you comment on something that worries you and effectively demonstrate how you cope with that. Risks are a normal part of life. Hopefully he will not experience anything serious in his formative years but it is important not to make broad dismissive statements that things won't happen. I recall using the story of the three Billy Goats Gruff with my son on the theme of cross the bridge when you come to it.
Btw I would be aware of encounters with particularly insensitive people...if it happens try to talk about it afterwards and explore why they may have said what they did.
Hope this helps - all the best!
DD went thru this. I guess we just muddled thru, it didn't last forever.
Thanks Cd - I am talking it through with him but I'm slightly worried I might nourish the fear rather than assuage it. I agree that it isn't good to minimise this very real feeling he has. A tricky line to walk!
He does have an example very close to us of a child who lost both parents (although not in a car crash- which is his specific fear) so he may have heard us talking about that. Or he may have seen something on tv or picked up on a comment made by a friend.
Ragged, that's what I'm hoping will happen
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