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8 week old granddaughter HATES the car!

(45 Posts)
NanaKim Tue 03-Nov-15 23:48:46

My 8 week granddaughter absolutely hates the car. It's not the car seat as she is in a Doona which she is quite happy in the rest of the time.. until it goes in the car. She goes from nought to hysterical in minutes. Today we were in the car for 10 minutes max going to the shops. When I got her out she was absolutely puce, she'd got herself into such a state. As soon as you take her out of the car, still in the Doona, she stops. It's now got that as soon as she realises she's about to go in the car she starts fretting and then as soon as we set off she starts so it's not that she is too hot / cold as it's an instant reaction. She's facing forwards so I don't think it's the direction she's travelling in. We've tried mobiles.. thinking she didn't like having nothing to look at, someone sitting in the back with her.. thinking she didn't like being alone, nothing works. Today we got some temporary relief with Barry White blasting out at full volume! Anyone got any ideas what her problem is?! I thought maybe motion sickness but she likes motion the rest of the time. She has a Rockaroo and is fine in that, on the car setting. It's an absolute mystery and I've never seen anything like it, all my four loved the car and I used to use car journeys as a way of getting them to sleep. It worries me as my daughter isn't concentrating on her driving as she should.. it's hard with a hysterical baby in the back. Also I worry about the baby.. she really gets herself into a state, proper full on temper tantrum. The rest of the time she's a content baby. I worry that she might start to choke. You'd think she'd exhaust herself and give up eventually but she doesn't… she just goes up a notch and it can't be good for her. Ideas anyone?!

LittleBearPad Tue 03-Nov-15 23:51:23

She's eight weeks old. Why is she forward facing. She needs to rear face at this age.

She'll get over the car hatred but you need to reverse the car seat.

NanaKim Tue 03-Nov-15 23:55:05

Actually I got that wrong.. it is rear facing. I was thinking that my daughter keeps turning round to look at her so must be able to see her but she has a mirror.

NanaKim Tue 03-Nov-15 23:55:47

The point is though… what is causing the car hatred?!

antimatter Tue 03-Nov-15 23:56:31

Is it the same in any car she is put in?
I remember dd was crying when at yhe bavk ofvthe car. Those days seat was back facing. I used to sit next to her holding her hand and talking or singing to her.
Lulanies helped too. She got familliar with one tape at home and then used to be distracted from her crying with the same music. I just remember I used to sing yhose songs to her smile
Btw she is very musical and plays few instruments.

BananaPie Tue 03-Nov-15 23:57:11

Are you sure that she should be forward facing in the car at 8 weeks?

NanaKim Tue 03-Nov-15 23:58:46

She's not forward facing.. I got that wrong as I posted.. how do I edit my post so that I don't get everyone posting about the way she is facing?!

NanaKim Wed 04-Nov-15 00:00:02

She is only really in one car as the Doona has a base that it clips into which is fitted into the car. Is it going backwards that is the problem?

NanaKim Wed 04-Nov-15 00:02:54

We've tried having someone sitting next to her.. made no difference and my daughter isn't always going to have someone with her. Also tried singing, no joy. Only thing that has given any relief is really loud music! It would help if we could work out what is the problem

LittleBearPad Wed 04-Nov-15 00:08:55

She can't face forwards at her age so there isn't much point in assuming the direction may be the problem.

Is she too hot? Car seats can be hot.

Does she have a dummy - giving her one in the car may prevent her getting cross

Loud music may be the solution for now. How many times has she been in the car. It may just be a matter of time and she'll get used to it.

LeaLeander Wed 04-Nov-15 00:09:38

Is it the same car each time? is there some odor in the car upsetting her or making her feel sick?

Could the driver or others be transmitting stress/nerves to her in dreading the trip?

NanaKim Wed 04-Nov-15 00:19:15

It's not that she's too hot / cold. As I said, it's an instant reaction and is now starting the minute she realises she is about to go in the car. The car seat is a Doona which is also a pushchair, so she doesn't have to be taken in / out of it to go in or out of the car, the whole thing goes into the car. She's quite happy in it, as long as it's not in the car. She has a dummy but she's screaming that hard that she's not interested in it. She's going in the car every day and there is no improvement, in fact it's getting worse as she is more aware and knows what is coming. I really don't think there's any odour in the car that she doesn't like or making her feel sick, nothing that I can notice anyway, but it's worth considering. I wonder if it is the direction that she's travelling in that is the problem.. it's the only time she goes backwards. I understand that if that is the case it can't be corrected for now but at least we'd know what it was. Is this a common problem? Does it stop once they can go in a forward facing seat?

NanaKim Wed 04-Nov-15 00:21:35

My daughter is a very calm mother so I don't think she is transmitting anxiety. My worry is that is stops her from concentrating on her driving properly

LittleBearPad Wed 04-Nov-15 00:26:34

Does she parent face when in the buggy? If so she's used to going backwards.

Mine have always been fine rear-facing.

BertieBotts Wed 04-Nov-15 00:29:17

It might be just that she doesn't like the movement of the car, the vibrations from the engine perhaps, or perhaps feels car sick. Not much you can do about it though except wait for it to be outgrown! sad

Anecdotally yes forward facing can help (apparently it helped me when I was a baby) and it's the only situation that I'd advocate for turning forward facing earlier than about 15 months. But a higher up car seat where they can see out can also help and should be tried before turning early (at 8/9 months). At 8 weeks, this is unlikely to make much difference because they can't really see out anyway even if they have a higher up seat.

It looks like there is an infant insert in that seat. It probably won't make a difference but is it worth taking that out?

Tried somebody sitting in the back or putting the car seat in the front with airbag disabled?

One thing that used to work for DS if he was upset in the car was singing to him - just nursery rhymes or anything repetitive.

NanaKim Wed 04-Nov-15 00:30:21

Yes you're right! Of course she is going backwards in the Doona when it's on its wheels. How silly of me.. doh!

NanaKim Wed 04-Nov-15 00:41:22

I really don't think it's the actual seat that is the problem as she is fine in it the rest of the time. It's a car seat / pushchair combined. www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQPf9nWzA0k

It's usually in the back of the car as that is where the base is fitted but you can use it without and with seat belts. My daughter has tried it in the front to see if it made any difference her being able to see her Mum but to no avail. Ditto someone sitting with her in the back. Also her husband is a fireman and pulls people out of cars so isn't happy about her travelling in the front.

I don't think it's the vibrations of the car as it's a hybrid and it is really smooth and totally silent… it's like a stealth car! Maybe it's too smooth!

Singing doesn't work as she's not just grumbling… she's on a full fledged screaming temper tantrum. She gets herself into such a state. She's wet through with perspiration after just a few minutes she's screaming that hard. I think it must be some kind of motion sickness and I wish we would find a solution. That level of screaming can't be good for her and it means my daughter is limited to very short journeys with her as she just can't face the prospect of going anywhere that involves too long a journey. I am also worried as although my daughter is very calm and doesn't get flustered she is naturally distracted by this screaming baby and keeps turning to look at her and so is not fully focused on the road.

NanaKim Wed 04-Nov-15 00:57:07

Anyway thanks everyone for taking the time to respond. I've never come across this problem before and thought that maybe others had experienced it. There doesn't seem to be an easy answer or explanation. The only thing so far that has given temporary relief has been Barry White at full blast or other disco music with a strong beat… maybe that is the way forward! Night smile

BertieBotts Wed 04-Nov-15 01:07:55

In my own experience of travel sickness, yes, "too smooth" can be a real problem! It might be worth a trial journey in a traditional car just to see if that makes any difference, although changing the car would be a bit drastic, at least you'd have an answer? It might be for example that the electric cars make a noise which is out of the range of adult hearing but babies have really sensitive ears. Or it might be the movement is strange compared to being carried or rolled along on pushchair wheels.

It might be that it abates naturally as the baby gets older. It's early days. Are the daily car journeys necessary? I might be tempted to avoid or minimise use of the car and look at whether it's possible to walk or take public transport as much as possible until the baby is a bit older and then try again.

I don't think it's an unusual problem although it is common for babies to enjoy the car. Some of them just do hate it.

BertieBotts Wed 04-Nov-15 01:10:25

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childrens_health/1181064-Car-Sickness-Are-some-cars-worse-than-others

BertieBotts Wed 04-Nov-15 01:13:46

It's not a Camry, is it? grin This reviewer apparently felt travel sick while DRIVING the car! gas2.org/2013/10/04/went-texas-honda-drove-toyota-camry-hybrid/

TheExMotherInLaw Wed 04-Nov-15 01:26:37

I'd suggest the possibility of electronic noise, too. Something either above or below normal hearing. You might be able to decondition her from screaming as she is taken to the car by putting her in the car for a few moments, and then out again, without starting the engine.
Have you tried googling model of car & screaming baby, in case any other parents have noticed it?
I can't be in the front of a car, window closed, and have someone in the back open a window - something weird happens that no-one else can feel.

WillCrossThatBridge Wed 04-Nov-15 01:38:12

My DS used to really really hate the car when he was little. I don't know why but we used to have a car-only dummy and that did the trick! Only used it til he was 6 months or so.

Strawberrybubblegum Wed 04-Nov-15 06:41:27

My DD was similar, although didn't scream on approaching the car - that's some aversion! It was awful, and I understand you being worried about your daughter being distracted.

Something that helped a bit was having one of those mirrors on the back passenger seat, set so that the driver can make eye contact in the rear view mirror.

It lasted a long time - maybe 6 months and then started to get slowly better. DD started throwing up in the car around 18 months, so I think it was car sickness all along.

Can your daughter try to time unavoidable car journeys so that her baby is asleep? We still do that as much as possible now.

AuditAngel Wed 04-Nov-15 08:02:24

DD1 used to be very intolerant in the car, didn't scream immediately, but would soon start in the car. She grew out of it.

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