My DS is nearly 6. He's always been very sensitive and easily overwhelmed, particularly by noisy environments. We hoped that he'd eventually grow out of it, but he hasn't. He's very articulate and chatty in environments where he is comfortable, including the classroom. But in most social situations with me or his dad he is an utter nightmare.
For example, at a recent big birthday party that we went to in a hall with a disco, all of the children were joining in, having a great time, playing with balloons or dancing. DS was crawling around the edge of the room, hiding under chairs, or would come to me and hit/push me. I offered to take him home, but he wanted to stay.
I've always been an introvert and my mum always hated that I never joined in with anything, so I do get it - some kids don't want to join in. My problem is the way he behaves. When I didn't want to join in, I would just sit out, normally on my mum's lap. But he seems to regress to being a toddler, and it just doesn't seem to be normal behaviour at his age.
We went to a small birthday party at a friend's house today, and from the moment he steps over the doorstep, it's like a switch is flicked. He is like Jekyll and Hyde. Suddenly unable to have a normal conversation, talking in a baby voice, hysterical behaviour, disruptive - basically a pain in the backside. I get down to his level to speak to him, and it's like I can't get through to him - the 'real' DS just isn't in there, if that makes sense. He's known these friends his whole life, so it's not a new and unfamiliar environment. The moment he leaves the party, the 'switch' flicks back and he's back to normal again.
More examples - I can't take him to visit family. At my elderly grandparents' house he'll jump all over the furniture, crawl around the room, throw things, and no matter what tactic I use - talk-throughs before we go, consequences, stern telling-off when it's happening - absolutely nothing has an effect. He does things that he would never do at home - like climbing onto and walking across a full dining table at another relative's house. When I have to stop him mid-act, he completely freaks, full-on meltdown, hitting, and biting me.
We dole out consequences such as losing tv privileges, or confiscating his favourite toy, Lego, but he could not care less - it has no effect on his behaviour. If anything, he forgets about what's happened the moment we finish the conversation.
It's all just totally age-inappropriate behaviour. My other DS is 3 and doesn't behave like this - how can he manage social situations but my nearly-6 year old can't?
I'm at my absolute wits' end with him. Both DH and I just do not know what to do. Waiting for him to outgrow this behaviour is not working and he is just getting worse. What do we do? Is he just a bit different/easily overwhelmed, or is there actually a problem? Where do I go for help?
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How do you know the difference between your child being 'different' or there actually being a problem?
18 replies
PitteryPattery · 31/10/2015 21:58
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Maki79 ·
01/11/2015 00:41
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