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Not friends with daddy

(7 Posts)
DeliveredByKiki Sun 25-Oct-15 14:32:05

DD is nearly 4 and has been going through an anti Daddy stage for quite a while. Not as bad as some but whenever he comes into a room she shouts "I don't want you" and doesn't want him near her. Sometimes she'll "forget" that she's in a permanent grump with him and let him read her stories or whatever. He generally gets them dressed in the morning and she'll always initially say she doesn't want him to do it but will let him after either being threatened with naughty step or asked nicely (we try every approach!)

Obviously it's some kind of attention seeking thing and we are big believers in "this too shall pass" but it's getting to the point where it's just a bit miserable for him (us!)

Any thoughts or ideas? We generally just try to keep it calm and tell her it's not nice to treat daddy like that and it makes him sad. Tried giving them one on one time (she has an older brother) and she can be convinced, it's just this constant automatic rejection of him that's getting pretty tiresome

Ferguson Sun 25-Oct-15 18:34:50

A mother of an almost-two yr old DD has had similar responses, and has posted several times in recent months.

Yes, I'm sure it will pass, but I wouldn't think threatening 'naughty step' (which I don't like anyway, and was never necessary with our DS, but that WAS over thirty years ago, so 'naughty steps' probably hadn't been invented) is really going to help matters.

At 4, she could be old enough to explain her reasons. I sometimes wonder whether the male 'scent' - possibly from smoking, aftershave, stubble, a beard, or whatever - could contribute to the aversion. Certainly, I think the 'motherly' scent is probably preferred by babies and toddlers. He may also be too rough or unsympathetic in is handling of her.

Perhaps some research is called for !

laundryeverywhere Sun 25-Oct-15 18:39:30

I feel sorry for your Dh, it's upsetting when the dc don't want you. I might try getting him to take her out on nice outings one to one. Even if it doesn't work over night it would slowly improve things over time.

Iguessyourestuckwithme Sun 25-Oct-15 18:43:10

I would just ignore it to be honest and get on with the day. It sounds like she's getting lots of extra attention for this behaviour - so why should she stop. I would just do a brusk Daddy is doing breakfast, and then get on with it.

DeliveredByKiki Mon 26-Oct-15 02:33:17

Maybe we just need to be consistent with our approach - possibility trying too many tactics are confusing so reverting back to ignoring it for a few weeks?

Iguessyourestuckwithme Mon 26-Oct-15 07:53:32

Yes you do consistency is key. Whatever you choose to deal with this you need to do it every time.

Frazzled2207 Mon 26-Oct-15 09:15:43

Following as I have the opposite problem as my 2.5 yo son doesn't want anything to do with me since his baby brother was born. Constantly wants his daddyconfused

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