My nearly 3 year old DD presents as a typical 3 year old in most ways. She absolutely hates, however, getting any dirt or mess on her hands or clothes. Even the tiniest speck sends her into a massive tizz - this includes painting, cooking stuff, milk and water, Sand etc. She demands a change of clothing for the tiniest bit (which we try not to Indulge) and cries a lot over her hands till they are washed and cleaned. If it happens at pre-school she gets really upset and it ruins her day, and I'm starting to feel like it's not normal or could develop into a problem.
Is it best to let her avoid messy play or should she keep doing it to get used to this? The last thing I want is a stressed or upset daughter. The pre school have started bringing it up and saying that most children love to get messy and she's getting very stressed. Any experiences or ideas? She isn't otherwise obsessive, plays well with the usual toys and socialises well. The only things that probably isn't relevant but so as not to drip feed is she's very able with puzzles and mathematics, she knows all her numbers to 100 and can work with them, can do very large puzzles and enjoys lining things up!
I went through this with dnephew. He's now on an apprenticeship as a car mechanic . It can be worrying and if it continues I would seek help. Meanwhile, work with nursery staff and see if you can come up with something. I'm sure they have seen it before and will offer suggestions. Dnephew outgrew it. Ds doesn't like getting dirty through gardening but he's happy in sand and whilst painting.