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Change in son

(7 Posts)
Shhh123 Wed 21-Oct-15 10:12:33

Am pretty new here so am hoping this is thr right place to write this. Am seeking advice for any parents who have had changes in thier children after starting school. My beautiful four and a half year old son started school in September and since day one we have been having trouble with him. Not only has he become grumpy and argumentative but his teacher has actully approached me saying that he sometimes lashes out at other children. I was completely shocked as my son is a kind hearted and sensitive child who is very loving so for her to say this caused instant tears on my behalf! I understand how hard the jump from playschool is to big school and there are so many changes but I have had my son come home with bloodshot red eyes where he has been crying more than three occasions and all the teachers says is that he was disaplined for one reason or another. My son has always been boisterous as you can imagine any 4 year old to be, excitable and dull of energy but never aggressive or badly behaved. Have spoken to the teaching assistant also to see if she can keep a closer eye on him as am very worried there is more to this but I never get any feedback. My son has been struggling to sleep at night saying he is worried but will not tell me the reason, not once have I told him off for the things as they happen at school, I only drum into him that any kind of physical violence is truly unacceptable and listens and generally looks very sorry. He isn't like that at all with any of m his previous friends or relatives, it's like a complete change in person.
Has anybody else had this? Am so worried that people judge him based on these actions he is a lovely boy

Shhh123 Wed 21-Oct-15 10:13:50

Hopefully someone can offer some similar experiences, thank you xx

Jasonandyawegunorts Wed 21-Oct-15 14:38:28

I have no advice, but i am bumping this up, hopefully you'll get some advice soon.

MyFavouriteClintonisGeorge Wed 21-Oct-15 14:43:40

One of my son's friends was like this. He found the adjustment very hard.
The only thing that worked was detailed engagement with the school. Odd words from teachers and assistants at drop-off is not enough to go on, and they need to hear about your observations of his at home behaviour.

Maybe ask for the class teacher and the Head of Early Years Education to have a meeting with you to discuss it all in depth. You could explore your DS going in late, or coming home early (whenever the problems seem to occur) and try to agree strategies for dealing with whatever he seems to find most challenging.

I really sympathise, it is horrible to see your child being unhappy.

KP86 Wed 21-Oct-15 15:57:40

My first thought was that he might be being bullied?

Yet another reason why I disagree with sending kids to school at 4yo (not your fault, OP, it's the system as a whole).

hampsterdam Wed 21-Oct-15 18:19:21

Poor little thing. My ds is lucky as the oldest in the year he was nearly 5 when he started in foundation. He had Some trouble settling into yr 1 this year and quite a lot of the children seemed to struggle with the transition. Keep up communication with the school, ask for specifics and tackle those, make sure they know you are supporting them. Poor little mite is most likely very tired and overwhelmed.

Shhh123 Wed 21-Oct-15 19:42:43

Thank you all for your advise and for taking the time to read my worries. He has always struggled with change of any kind and I definitely feel he is still overwhelmed by the change to school. After my short talk with his teacher this morning I approached her again after school finished and expressed my concern again and she said he seemed fine today and there wasn't a particular child causing my son to become irritated or annoyed as I was worried about bullies too. I suppose only time will tell, I am lucky enough to have a very honest child so when hes unhappy he will usually tell me, although he has been a little quieter since he started school. I even asked his teacher to give me daily updates on how he was during the day, she did seem quite annoyed at my request however when I explained more she said she would try her best to keep a closer eye on him for me. I completly understand that there is a whole class full of children but only mine seems to come home sad sad hopefully it will help us both understand any issues there may be. X

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