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my 8 years old being rude to me but nice and polite to my ex

(5 Posts)
VivienLi28 Mon 19-Oct-15 02:24:14

please, help! it is 2am and I still cant sleep as don't know what to do with my son's behaviour. He is being rude and cheeky and disrespectful to me but when he is with his father he is a complete wimp and cant say a word against. His father was not involved in his care and upbringing when we were married (which is first 4 years of his life). We got divorced when he was 4. He never was close to his father-always was mummy's boy. Have no idea what is happening now and why I am getting the wrong end of the stick. have no idea how to change this situation before it will get worse. Has anyone dealt with this before? Absent father being idolised and devoted mother being treated as a piece of....?

ReallyTired Mon 19-Oct-15 02:38:12

He feels safe enough with you to be obnoxious. He is confident that you love him unconditionally. I think it's s common situation for absent fathers to be idolised.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Mon 19-Oct-15 02:44:02

Yeah, what ReallyTired said. He's pushing boundaries with you because he knows he can do so safely and you'll still love him no matter what - he doesn't have that security with his father.

So what it boils down to is he loves you enough to be rotten to you, he doesn't know his father well enough to do the same to him, because he fears his Dad will fuck off again if he does.

And aged 8 is one of the times they start challenging, plus probably a testosterone-fuelled growth spurt - has he suddenly grown an inch or 2?

In other words, ride it out, he still loves you to bits but is going through normal developmental challenging-you stages. thanks

VivienLI Mon 19-Oct-15 21:41:09

Thank you for your support (by the way what YOU were doing up so late???)smile
I will try to stay strong...just getting tired of being strong all the time...

LynetteScavo Mon 19-Oct-15 21:45:05

Yep, what ReallyTired said.

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