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5 yr old DS - No sympathy when mummy cried - v upset/worried

(7 Posts)
kizzie Tue 11-May-04 20:43:44

Sorry me again.
I posted a couple of weeks ago about 5 yr olds showing sympathy because my mum had been taken into hospital and my DS twins didnt seem concerned.

Anyway tonight DS1 (accidently) elbowed me really hard in the face. It took me so much by suprise that it made me cry (pathetic I know).

DS 2 asked straight away what was wrong and came and gave me a kiss but DS1 just kept laughing and wasnt at all sorry that I was crying.

I was really upset that he just didnt seem to care but now Im just so worried that its a problem.

Sorry Im making such a big fuss about this.

Anyone any thoughts?

Janh Tue 11-May-04 20:46:03

Possibly just felt guilty, kizzie? Someone has mentioned elsewhere how some people smile when in trouble - it's the monkey "don't be mad at me" submissive thing.

kizzie Tue 11-May-04 22:06:19

Thanks for replying Janh - guess it could be something like that. He's never been very affectionate (except with daddy) - hates kisses (tho he will give me an 'eskimo' kiss and loves to have his back stroked). Although to be honest Ive never been too 'touchy feely' either.

I know Im overly anxious about him at the minute but it does worry me that he doesnt seem able to show empathy.

Im hoping some other MN's will tell me that their children were/are the same at this age.

Jimjams Tue 11-May-04 22:12:42

I don't know if you're worried about autism (guessing you might be)- but the whole affection thing is completely irrelevant to be honest. My autistic son is and always has been very affectionate- will sit and have a quiet cuddle if I'm upset. My NT son is much less affectionate- he's normally too busy. A lot of the autistic kids I know are very affectionate. Those that aren't often aren't because of sensory issues, so they show affection in other ways.

Your son may have been scared he'd be told off, he may just have been in a playful mood. I don't think it means anything though.

kizzie Tue 11-May-04 22:17:02

Hi Jim Jams - not so much autism. But although he is doing well academically at school (if there is such a thing at 5!) his teacher has raised concern about his concentration and attention.
Thats why Im over sensitive to everything I suppose at the moment - made me really question everything which I know is the wrong thing to do.
Thanks for replying!

kizzie Tue 11-May-04 22:21:49

btw jimjams congratulations Just seen your news.

twogorgeousboys Tue 11-May-04 22:26:39


My sister has twin boys (age 10) and they were like this at that age.

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