Advanced search

Strategies to deal with DS over-reaction when he hurts himself

(10 Posts)
Alfabetibisgeti Sat 12-Sep-15 12:14:13

On the way into swimming this morning around 10.15 he fell over and scraped his leg on the kerb.
He screamed and screamed like he'd properly done some damage.
I managed to get him in the car and home. All the time he's wailing and screeching.
I got him in and got a cold flannel on it to try and clean it, and gave him lots of cuddles but he can't seem to handle even the smallest scratch.
He's 5 so this happens fairly regularly. I've actually had people approach us in the past, I'm sure to check that I'm not hurting him.
It's now an hour and a half later and he's still crying and occasionally screaming.
I know he's not broken anything. He can wiggle his toes and bare weight.
I find myself getting really annoyed with him and now he's calmed down I'm admitting defeat.
How else can I comfort him when this happens again? What sort of mother am I that I need to ask that question sad

Alfabetibisgeti Sat 12-Sep-15 12:15:37

The pics kind of upside down. The scrape's on his shin not his thigh.

XCChamps Sat 12-Sep-15 12:19:18

I don't know if it will help your son but I used to make mine lift up their legs for me to kiss it better, then we'd have a little comedy routine when I'd go "no higher than that" and they'd lose their balance, start laughing and forget to cry.

Alfabetibisgeti Sat 12-Sep-15 12:35:09

Kissing it better doesn't work. He screams if I make any allusion to touching it.
I usually have to clean it while holding him down (he's a big boy and has previously accidentally given me a black eye after kicking me as I tried to get the grit out of a grazed knee)
Sometimes tickles work but not usually just after its happened.

Twinkie1 Sat 12-Sep-15 12:38:56

I'd not make a big fuss and just carry on what I was doing.

Since DS started walking we've pretty much done the 'oh woops, up you get and carry on' thing.

For the older DCs I often ask if the can see bone or blood and if they can't I tell them to let me clean it and then get on.

At 5 telling him if you don't clean it it'll get an infection and then it will be really bad should work or just make sure he gets a bath when he has a graze rather than having to hold him down.

XCChamps Sat 12-Sep-15 12:43:08

Maybe I'm terribly scuzzy but does a bit of a graze need cleaning? I sometimes do but if we're out and don't have the means, it will usually be forgotten by the time we get home and never done.

All tantrums are best dealt with by distraction or ignoring ime

Tinfoiled Sat 12-Sep-15 12:48:55

It's not a reflection on your mothering. It sounds like he has trouble calming himself down basically. Is it only when he physically hurts himself or does he struggle with emotions in general? I'd be tempting to do a BIT of validating first, immediately after the event i.e 'oh poor you that must have been sore' etc and if it carries on, then be more brisk and try distracting him. He WILL grow out of it eventually I promise!

Alfabetibisgeti Sat 12-Sep-15 12:55:02

I also have a younger dd. she can be bleeding profusely and not let on.
As far as I know I always have done the whoops, upsy daisy thing.
Hard to ignore the bloodcurdling screams when he literally won't move and all the world is staring at you like you're the most abusive parent ever.
As I said he's a big boy. I can't just lift him and keep going.

Alfabetibisgeti Sat 12-Sep-15 13:06:38

He is a very sensitive wee boy. For eg we were talking about our holiday with friends who we see rarely and DS started crying a little. We asked why he was sad when we were chatting about happy times and he said he just missed his friends smile

Tinfoiled Sat 12-Sep-15 13:14:11

In that case I would up the 'you poor thing, that really hurt didn't it' rather than 'up you get, you're ok', which is ok for some kids but if he's sensitive, he just needs a bit more tlc and you letting him know that you understand it hurts. But obviously you need to put a bit of a time limit on it if you've got stuff to do. But yes it's embarrassing when people are looking although I doubt it's because they think you've hurt him if you're comforting him.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now