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My kidsRe just anti bedtime pleAse advise!

(13 Posts)
littleraysofsunshine Tue 25-Aug-15 19:10:26

Almost five and three, they just don't want to go to bed. Kicking off each night, getting in and out, being very full of attitude and just ending up with being shouted at by U.S. As its just too much after doing it for ages, trying to be patient and calm. And also seeing to our 19month old.

We try to be as gentle as possible with our parenting approach and I know they're still small.ive read books, tried methods but they just don't seem to be having it.

It doesn't help that dp is working late a lot and I'm doing it on my own then I feel guilty for not being able to see to all three.

Ahhhhhhhits been about a month of this so far.

ffffffedup Tue 25-Aug-15 21:23:17

Lots of people won't agree with this but put them in bed with some cartoons on for half an hour to settle them down. I do this with my 2 if they are quiet and settled in bed I'll let them keep watching. After half an hour sometimes an hour if I've manages to get them bathed and in pj's earlier they are more than happy to have the tv and lights off then. That half hour/hour gives me time to sort the baby out. It won't be a popular view but it works for me.

Gottagetmoving Wed 26-Aug-15 11:10:35

Letting your children watch TV in bed may help you in the short term but it is not a proper long term solution.
Bedtime should be a time for winding down and preparing for sleep.
Bedtime needs to be at the same time every night if possible, following a bath and a bedtime story.
It can be difficult at first if your children have got used to playing up and being allowed to do what they want, but they will adjust if you are consistent with the routine and being firm without shouting.

BrandNewAndImproved Wed 26-Aug-15 11:21:14

I don't see how you can have the same bedtime every night.

Mine have always been very good tbh so I haven't got tricks that work for sorting it I can just tell you what I used to do.

Bath and bed and zero tolerance of getting back out of bed. They have always been allowed to read a book to themselves. I didn't have it in me to do a story every night and they're excellent readers now.

I would start like with a book, if that doesn't work I would try the TV. I expect they would magically behave if they knew the TV would be turned off or not turned on the next night by poor bedtime behaviour. But you have to be strict and mean it, don't be all wishy washy and threaten no TV tomorrow if you get put of bed and not follow through.

Gottagetmoving Wed 26-Aug-15 11:37:44

I don't see how you can have the same bedtime every night

I said, IF POSSIBLE. Of course there are times you cannot stick to the exact time every night, but in general it should be part of a routine.

christinarossetti Wed 26-Aug-15 11:51:01

What time do you start the bedtime routine and what sort of time do they eventually settle?

Huge sympathies BTW. Horrendous time of day for them to be playing up.

littleraysofsunshine Wed 26-Aug-15 16:58:54

I had TV as a kid but much older and we're trying to implement the whole bedtime is for relaxing and sleep. It's to restore energy for the next day. TV doesn't work - from experience they just keep their minds ticking asking questions etc lol

We let the elder two have books if we don't read to them but even then it's just a case of 3yo doesn't want us to leave the room or they're "just not tired" when I k ow they are by body language and the fact they wake up at 6am.

Bedtime usually goes like this at the minute

6-6:30 bath
7 stories and bedtime

It Can alter if dp is working but it just seems such a rush and no wonder they find it hard to wind down. They wait all day to see daddy and by the time he's home it's bed time within an hour or if he's even home in time.

We've always been very supportive and give hugs when needed but with three we obviously have to split and one does the elder, the other does the baby. But when it's just me its like a game of juggle.

I just hate the wearing down and then me resorting to shouting and feeling cross. Tears all round and ending the day on a bad note. I hate this, we have to end it on a love you and I always go in to say it once they're asleep anyway. Soppy I know!

blibblobblub Wed 26-Aug-15 17:06:04

Do they need a bath every day? Can you use the time after dinner to wind them down, read books together etc?

LovelyFriend Wed 26-Aug-15 17:11:34

Mine were a little older than yours (3 & 6) when we had the "talk" but it may be useful to you.

I was just fed up with bedtime hi jinx, drama and silliness - I told them:

bedtime is for bedtime - bath, teeth, cuddle and story and then lights out. We can all have a nice time together doing this.

Mummy is tired and needs time to do other things. Mummy does not want to be dealing with silliness every bedtime & this makes Mummy cross - there is a time for fun and games and a time to just get the job done.

Children need lots of sleep (I will also point out how great they are feeling in the morning after a good nights sleep - backup)

I don't want to be grumpy tired cross Mummy, I want to be cuddly story reading Mummy.

Then I asked them what they wanted - of course they want cuddles and stories. So we made a "no nonsense happy bedtime plan" together that works for us all.

And it works well most of the time it works and mostly we have cracked the bedtime hell. I did have a couple of nights when it all descended into chaos (DD2 in particular can be very difficult) and I put them straight to bed, no story, lights out. But mostly it is all very straightforward now.

LovelyFriend Wed 26-Aug-15 17:30:54

After always doing bath as part of "bedtime routine", last year I did an experiment of some nights not doing a bath, and found it made not one bit of difference really.

BathshebaDarkstone Wed 26-Aug-15 17:35:38

Stagger bedtimes. Put the one who falls asleep first to bed first, then don't put the other one to bed until the first one's asleep. Good luck! wine

Gottagetmoving Wed 26-Aug-15 18:09:13

They don't have to have a bath every day, it's just a nice way to relax and be part of the preparation for bed.

You could let them go to bed half an hour later if they want to see their dad.

littleraysofsunshine Wed 26-Aug-15 20:33:24

They do t bath every single day, 19mo does as he gets filthy at dinner wink

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