Giving my child a phobia(4 Posts)
i have a really bad phobia of wasps and spiders. I had hypnotherapy before I had dd but it didn't work. Ive successfully managed to remove smaller spiders when dd has been freaking out but I live in fear of there being a bigger one as I just wouldn't be able to remove it or be in the same house until dh came home and could get it out.
I have a massive fear of wasps as I had a bad experience as a child where I was stung on the face and never got over it so whenever I see them I start flapping my arms which is the worst thing I can do I know but it's automatic and my brain goes into panic and I can't think straight. I can't sit and let them go on the food and if they do I won't eat it and it ruins a nice lunch in the sunshine.
I saw a child yesterday properly freaking out and screaming and her display of upset is how I feel inside so I could relate to her. What I don't want is dd becoming like that because I've caused it by running away and jumping and getting annoyed.
Does anyone have any advice on how I can overcome it so I don't make dd like me?
Well, sounds like it the hypnotherapy was at least partially successful on the eight-legged beastie front - I can't even manage the small ones .
Can't help with the wasps, as I'm ok with them, but for the other things - can you get her started with the small ones using glass/paper - and then when they get bigger tell her that she's braver than you so can she 'rescue' you from them using the same trick?
I spent a long time saying it was just me being silly for no particular reason. Small child (4.5) now seems to understand that and has reasoned it's ok for them to have 'spider-friends' (<---bleurgh emoticon) so isn't concerned when I jump/scream and then try to control the reaction (seems to find it hysterically funny in fact...).
Way I did it was:
1) to re-confirm I was being silly to be
terrified mildly scared
2) to get DH to teach the glass/paper trick
3) to have DH offer to hand over the horror to run around child's hand/arm outside and to be guided by them when/when not to do this
4) have DH show educational videos (BBC/Nat Geo type only) on YouTube so they didn't seem quite so alien
5) read Charlotte's Web as bedtime story (rationale as per point 4)
Don't get me wrong I still can't stand even the small ones but dd was so upset when there was one in the house recently that somehow I managed to remain calm and say it's fine don't worry and get the brush and pan which was on a long pole and swept it into that and chucked it in the garden but I was panicking like mad inside but managed to not show it. The bigger fast running ones make me go to pieces. I shudder just thinking about it.
Dd is 3 so I can't imagine her doing the glass paper trick but maybe as she gets older. Thanks for the advice!
Well, you're still braver than I am! I vacuumed one up once and felt sick afterwards at the thought it had passed through my hands. Left the vacuum running for ages too, just in case...
Perhaps she couldn't manage the paper, but I bet she could manage the glass bit - you could try to make it into a game for her maybe?
(I may have been known to ask next-door to come in and complete the operation when no DH available .)
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