2 year old won't listen to what he's told

[JokerOnTheHilltop]

My DS has just turned 2. He won't do anything I ask him to do. He's not really being defiant I think. He just seems to have better things to do. He's very very active and loves running and climbing on things.

At toddler groups he usually doesn't really play with the toys, just runs around investigating the space and will refuse to sit down to hear a story or sing songs etc because he's busy running around the place. He's usually the only child doing this as everyone else is seated quietly on a parent's lap. If I do manage to hold him still on my lap, he'll spend the whole time trying to get away and will never join in the singing or actions although he sometimes does them at other times. At home he also doesn't listen unless it's something he'd like to do as well.

I'm sure he understands me as he's quite intelligent and can do some things at a higher level than expected for his age. He's also capable of sitting down and concentrating on books or Duplo for periods of time so I don't think he's just hyperactive. What should I be doing?

[pretend]

Repeat yourself til you're navy blue in the face, mutter dark thoughts when he's out of earshot and yearn for full time work.

That's how I cope.

Seriously, it's normal.

[SewingAndCakes]

Sorry but he sounds like a completely normal 2 year old boy to me. It will eventually get easier I promise!

[happystory]

This was my ds exactly! He's 23 now and still a live wire but turned out just fine! I also work in child care and see this all the time. He's inquisitive, interested, learning about the world, it's very normal!

[Bakeoffcake]

I'd stop taking him to toddler group and take him to the park instead. He's obviously not in the right frame of mind for sitting and listening to a story- yet.

As far as not listening to you, I'm afraid at 2 it's very normal behaviour. I wouldn't expect a 2 year old to do everything they're told.

You do need to preempt and prepare them, so if you're going out, tell him in 5 minutes he will have to stop playing and put his coat/shoes on and will be going out. Then he has time to get used to the idea.


What kind of other things is he not doing?

[SavoyCabbage]

I think he's just not that interested in he stories and the singing.

I'd do more physical things with him. Climbing trees, swimming, parks.

They don't all play in the same way anyway.

[Brambles35]

Have you thought about his hearing? My son had glue ear (I never knew there was an issue with his hearing!!) which meant he was never interested in listening, group stories, singing etc. he was also the same with one to one at home. We gave up trying to read bedtime stories as he would just grab at the book and chuck it. once it cleared he totally changed.

[chocolatechip123]

Sounds normal to me.
Don't yell - they are immune!

[JokerOnTheHilltop]

Thanks HappyStory, that's really good to hear.
BakeoffCake, he won't help get himself dressed or undressed, stay still to get his nappy changed. Runs away when I say it's time for a bath or time for dinner. Won't stop doing dangerous things like climbing up bookshelves etc. I do realise that 2 year olds are like this but DS seems to be by far the most like this of all the toddlers we know. He does have a bit of a reputation now amongst family and friends.
I have been trying to warn him a few minutes before he needs to do something but it doesn't seem to make a difference. And yes, he does by far prefer the park!

[JokerOnTheHilltop]

Thanks Brambles, but I'm almost certain his hearing is ok as he can, when he wants to, sit still and listen to stories, although this happens exclusively at home. He won't do it when we're out.

[notascooby007]

My older dc are 8 and 5 I'm still waiting for them to listen to me

[Bakeoffcake]

Everything you've mentioned is very normal behaviour for a two year old

I think you've got to be more physical with him..
"Won't stop climbing up bookshelves" don't ask him to get down, go over to him say "no we don't climb the bookshelves but you can climb outside on the slide/ or on the sofa" and then remove him to somewhere he's allowed to climb.

Won't help himself get dressed- lots of ch do this as getting dressed is boring, you have to make a game of it- sing his favourite nursery rhymes and see if you can get his nappy/vest/shoes on before the end of it.

I think it's a shame he has a "reputation" with friends and relatives. I'd try to put a stop to that, if he's hearing "oh he's naughty/hard work/won't listen" etc that's not good for him.

[JokerOnTheHilltop]

Thanks BakeOff, I do appreciate your help. I try to do those things that you've mentioned but it seems to have limited success so far. I do realise that it'a normal for 2 year olds though I think DS is at the more extreme end of the scale (from my observations of nieces and nephews etc). Maybe it's just a matter of waiting it out

[DangerGrouse]

Watch the three day nanny episode with the twin boys. really interesting techniques on how to get toddlers to listen and cooperate. I literally love Kathryn she's my new hero.
Also remember no one at toddler group gives a flying fuck what anyone else's kid is doing. Far to absorbed in their own little darlings to look up. Seriously.

[JokerOnTheHilltop]

Thanks Danger, I've not heard of that. Off to google

[Buttwing]

I agree with everyone else sounds totally normal. I go to toddler group where there is sitting down and singing at the end and my almost two year old just takes advantage of the space and runs round and round in circles usually accompanied by a few others. I've given up trying to make him sit down he's having fun and not hurting anyone, he will have a whole school life of sitting down and listening to instructions/ stories!

[NessaWH123]

Sounds same as my 2 year old I think its normal and same as you hope he settles in times but in the mean time chocolate fix to keep my energy levels going!!;) x

[NessaWH123]

Example I took my little one to a baby gym last week...so frustration g as he ran around like s butter whilst the others carefully tried to equipment! He wouldn't join in group and circle activities at all and he was the only one so I was quite embarrassed but goingvt try again as hope in time he will calm ..and queueing for his go on the trampoline resulted in a meltdown as he kept trying t jump the queue! R not alone :)

[PinkParsnips]

My nearly 2yr old DD is exactly the same....I enrolled her at a toddler dance class where all the other little girls sat / stood nicely doing the actions and my DD pranced about kissing herself in the mirror and trying on everyone's shoes she's also the bad influence at our toddler group who runs to the far end of the room at sit down / sing time and then all the others follow!

She also doesn't listen to me most of the time, I can say come here please until I'm blue in the face and she won't...so am glad it's all normal and just wanted to say I know how you feel op!!