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8yo ungrateful or over anxious???

(7 Posts)
notascooby007 Tue 04-Aug-15 11:38:38

Ds1 is 8 it seems every time we plan something nice for him he gets a sulk on. For example we had a little party for his birthday nothing too big just a few friends round he sat in his room sulking refusing to come out. His grandparents have took him away for a few days he's been really excited about it then all of a sudden doesn't want to go. They have booked to take him a theme park today and he's also saying he doesn't want to go. Whatever we do he is never happy with and I'm not sure why. Are all 8 yo ungrateful like this or is it just mine??
He'll moan he's bored in the house then soon as you take somewhere (of his choice) the mood starts I can't win it's getting very wearing now.

merrygoround51 Tue 04-Aug-15 11:46:51

My 7 year old DD can be like this and I am reminded of the line from a poem 'From a chink to wide there comes in no wonder' I think she simply was having so many 'fun' experiences and eating out so much etc that she was spoilt and in danger of becoming Veruca Salt.

I would simply halt all the fun things for a couple of weeks and sit down and ask him what he wants to do. Explain that you are a family and he needs to fit in with everyones plans and its not all about him but what would he enjoy doing.

With my DD, after a couple of weeks of doing nothing, she was happy with a coffee and a trip to the shops with me, I think we were spoiling her and thus spoiling her enjoyment of days out when she got them.

cuntycowfacemonkey Tue 04-Aug-15 11:50:36

TBH the only solution is to call his bluff. Cancel the day out and stick to it. He'll either be relieved if he's genuinely anxious or dissapointed that it didn't happen.

I agree with merrgoround a couple of weeks of doing nothing is important to get them to appreciate when you do then do something.

MrsLeighHalfpenny Tue 04-Aug-15 11:54:37

I think he might be shy and anxious. I was a bit like that as a child, but could never articulate why to my parents. I used to stand and watch my younger DSis joining in things, but couldn't make myself do it too.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Tue 04-Aug-15 12:02:07

Have you tried not building the excitment, and just go out. Maybe when your out he doesnt get your full attention, same with being with friends, you share your attention with them (as it should be) My DD2 does this, last week i took her and a friend out all day, brought lunch, they have a great day at the farm. Back home i spoke to DD1 and she flipped... its attention seeking and she said i was being totally unfair...

notascooby007 Tue 04-Aug-15 12:02:31

He's away with his grandparents at the moment I feel awful that they've spent so much money and he's being so ungrateful. His younger brother will be loving it. mrsleigh I think you've hit the nail on the head how can I help him to enjoy more instead of just looking on everything? He's very good at sports and thrives at this so gets lots of encouragement how can I give him some confidence?

MrsLeighHalfpenny Tue 04-Aug-15 12:41:29

I don't know. All I can say is it will come with time, and don't force him to do things he doesn't want to. I used to hate my parents for doing that.

I think peer pressure will help as he gets older - I remember at some age though it became more embarassing NOT to join in with something than it was to sit on the outskirts and watch (in my head anyway). I think it was round about the time I went to secondary school.

I would offer small scale events with his friends, and maybe things where you can leave the kids to do something without hovering round them - such as drop them off at a swimming pool/ice skating etc and pick them up later.

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