Desperate for advice- toddler struggling with big life changes(5 Posts)
Hi all, I'm really hoping that some of you can offer me some advice and perspective.
DS is 2.8yrs old. His father and I split up a year ago, and I have remained in the family home since then, until this week when it has finally sold.DS has weekly overnight contact with his dad, and they both adore this.
I have decided to move myself and DS closer to my work, which is 25 miles away- it won't affect contact with his dad, or our extended family, as it's close enough to pop back and forth. It does however mean a new house and nursery.
We have moved back into my parents house for 4 weeks, until we get the keys to the new house.
Understandably, DS is clingy and unsettled at night at the moment. He has always previously gone to bed beautifully and slept through the night. At the moment bedtime is taking an hour of tears and up and downs, and then there are several night wakings where he refuses to settle alone.
I only have a single bed at my parents, so can't have him in bed with me, which he is wanting to do. I am tempted to sleep in with him on a mattress next to his bed, just for the next 4 weeks, so I can quickly and easily deal with night wakings, and also reassure him during an unsettled time. Then I would intend to re-establish a proper night time routine once we move into the new house. Does this sound reasonable? I am torn between wanting to do whatever he needs to feel comforted and reassured during a tricky time, but also wanting to maintain a sensible and sustainable night time routine.
I think it sounds reasonable. There's a lot of change happening in his little world and the best thing you can do, in my opinion is provide comfort in whatever at possible. You'll be able to establish a routine again when you're settled but for now go with the flow and don't give yourself any extra stress or pressure.
Thankyou magpie. I feel exactly as you have said,but it's reassuring to hear from a third party. I suppose my worry is that if I sleep with him for a month, I'll never get out of his bedroom. But I guess I'll have to grit my teeth and be very firm once we start again in the new house.
Yes, there is absolutely nothing wrong with providing additional reassurance to a child when they are undergoing a lot of change.
Try this CD. It transformed bedtimes for us:
Once you move will be time enough to set up new routines, so give him as much of your company as he needs right now; he'll start to feel more secure once you're moved and settled in and you can then get him back into his own bed and settling once again
for you both, change is hard, even more so if forced on us rather than through choice, so just be really gentle and loving to yourself too
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