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6 week old constant crying, whinging - I've boarded the self pity train!

(14 Posts)
Teeste Thu 30-Jul-15 09:43:37

DS was 6 weeks yesterday, EMCS and in the SCBU for 5 days from birth, FF, following the 50th percentile for weight and head circumference, 25th for length, all on track. We're both due our 6 week check ups tomorrow.

The thing is, if he's not asleep or feeding, it seems like he's crying or whinging. The constant 'eh, eh, eh' leading to screaming is seriously starting to get me down. He should be starting to smile and interact around now, but he's not (I know these things can take time but I was really holding on to that). We thought it was some sort of bowel or stomach issue a few weeks ago, put him on comfort formula and Dentinox - it's helped him with his wind but not the crying. We looked into CMPI etc. but they're apparently really rare. We also thought maybe it's just purple crying/colic, but now it's also in the mornings and daytimes when I'm at home alone with him. He just seems constantly miserable.

This morning for example, he had a feed at 4.30am, went back to sleep for an hour, then woke up again whinging, again 20 minutes later and so on until 7am when he had another feed. Slept for another hour, screaming again, another feed at 8.30. This time he was doing the thing where he screams for the bottle, takes about 6 sucks then knocks it away, arches his back and screams. Tried dummy, spat it back out, more screaming. Cuddled him, screamed. Put him down, screamed.

If he's not screaming and arching after every feed, how likely is it that this is some sort of lactose or stomach issue? Is this yet another growth spurt? He seems to be having those pretty constantly if so. He will usually settle in the pram but wakes up as soon as we get home. It's getting to the point where I just want him to sleep during the day, but that leads to him not sleeping much at night, then neither do we and I'm even more tired and unable to cope properly. Then I feel like the world's shittest mum and that my baby hates me.

Is this just normal baby stuff? Is he bored? Aren't babies supposed to spend some time awake and not actually crying? HV seems unconcerned. I've never met the GP he's seeing tomorrow, but am seeing my usual one for my own check up. Is it worth mentioning or will they just fob me off since he's putting on weight just fine? Do I need to just pull my socks up? Anyone want to hold my hand for a bit?

Newquay Thu 30-Jul-15 09:51:33

Hiya, it's so tough these first weeks. You sound like a great mummy and your DC doesn't hate you! Course not. I'm sure lots of mums who have had similar situations will be along soon with advice. I just wanted to hand hold smile. The only way I got through this bit was (1) anti depressants (pnd both times) but crucially (2) a nap at @8pm while Dh held DC downstairs. The 'eh eh eh' sounds normal. Get gp to check for tongue tie and thrush just in cAse. You just gotta take it one day/hour/minute at a time and breathe. It's bloody hard work and nobody warns you/you just cannot anticipate how hard it's going to be. Hugs from me - we've all been there honey x

comeagainforbigfudge Thu 30-Jul-15 09:53:25

Oh luvvie, I'm feeling your pain. My wee one is 7 weeks. We use infacol and gripe water rather than dentinox for the colic. No idea if one better than other.

We also have a "enforced" sleep time after an hour awake as I find that the more overtired she is the more she cries.

I have a couple of tunes that she relaxes and shuts her eyes long enough to go off to sleep.

I have no magic answer though BUT you are SOOOOOO not a shit mum nor does your baby hate you. It's just so hard with all the crying though isn't it? sad

Talk to your Dr though and trust your instincts flowers

Rosenwyn1985 Thu 30-Jul-15 11:17:30

I would just like to add it is possible it's reflux... We had a grumpy little boy with similar symptoms. I just happened to be chatting to my doctor who out of the blue said "that doesn't sound like colic, it could be reflux, bring him in". I would have just persevered otherwise. A couple of days with gaviscon in his feed and the change was astonishing. Might be worth just asking the doc to check. My health visitor also thought it was normal. If nothing else the first couple of months with a new born are hard hard work but it does get easier! And agree with pp, get hubby to take him in the evening and rest up!

folieadeux Thu 30-Jul-15 11:49:17

Sounds completely normal to me my ds cried for the first three months. Nothing specific just immaturities of the gut. He sounds quite windy, looks up tiger in the tree position for holding him in and for settling him try baby wearing in sling/wrap.

pickles184 Thu 30-Jul-15 12:12:50

Sounds like it could be reflux, definitely worth checking with the doctor as it can be eased a lot with Gaviscon. If it is lactose intolerance then they can prescribe soy formula to try.
Also second Folie's advice re 'tiger in the tree' and using a sling.
Seriously the sling saved my sanity by allowing me to get on with life whilst making the most of lovely baby cuddles.

You are not a shit Mum and your baby doesn't hate you, it is so hard sometimes and quite normal to feel a lot bit overwhelmed.
Sending you a big hug with flowers cake and brew

Teeste Thu 30-Jul-15 14:42:21

Oh, thanks you lot! Think I needed some hand holding (and maybe a moan). He's only just gone down for his first nap of the day, despite vibrating bouncy chair and a good long walk this morning. Seems today he did not want to sleep! sad

I'll ask about reflux - suspect that too. He coughs, swallows, sneezes and blows bubbles a lot, and gets hiccups at least once a day. He'll also wake himself up with a high-pitched scream every once in a while. His tongue is usually coated in white, dunno if milk, acid or thrush or what.

If the GP doesn't help, I reckon I'll start charting everything to see if there's a pattern. Might not get the HCPs to do anything but might save my sanity!

Why don't antenatal classes focus on what to do with the blinkin' baby once it's here, anyway?! For all the breathing and massage techniques I never needed (never went into labour), 2/3 of our class had EMCSs anyway. Maybe nothing can prepare you for the tiny terrorist about to take over your life...

Ibu1986 Fri 31-Jul-15 05:00:51

I really feel for you OP as my DS whinged or cried all day long! It was exhausting and I just couldn't enjoy him. Then suddenly he stopped at around 8/9 weeks and is now a much happier baby. He is still fussy and very windy but even the doctor commented on the difference. The problem is we were trying so many different things in a desperate bid to stop the crying we don't know which helped... Here are the things we were trying:

- Cranial osteopathy
- Gripe water for wind
- Ranitidine for suspected silent reflux

Part of me suspects it's just a developmental thing as apparently babies reach a peak for crying at around 8 weeks.

One other thing to note, my DS was even more miserable when overtired. I think he needed to have a nap every 45 minutes at 6 weeks. Is your LO getting enough daytime sleep?

Good luck and honestly it will get better.

kittyvet Fri 31-Jul-15 05:34:41

From the mummies I know CMPI is not that rare and causes similar symptoms so worth asking GP. Also look at baby massage on you tube for the colic routine.

redcaryellowcar Fri 31-Jul-15 06:20:00

Some of the symptoms you list sound like our ds, who had reflux, was relatively easily sorted by infant Gaviscon, suddenly we had a happy baby! I'd suggest you take a copy of your op or a list of symptoms you've listed as I find I always forget bits at the doctors, I'd also make some notes on you as if you've got lots to talk about re your dc, it's easy to forget to talk about how you are getting on.

Fairylea Fri 31-Jul-15 06:42:25

Definitely sounds like silent reflux. If it is sometimes the comfort formulas oddly enough make it worse! We found yellow top sma and medication from the gp really helped, as did putting books underneath the feet of one end of the moses basket and cot to make it raised so he wasn't lying flat on his back. He also preferred to nap semi upright in a bouncy chair - the upright position helps reflux.

Teeste Fri 31-Jul-15 09:37:55

I'll definitely be asking about reflux then, and also this white tongue of his. He was an antibiotics in the SCBU, so maybe that's why he has thrush if it is?

We had a much better night last night, he went down at 9pm and slept through until 4.30! I'll not be expecting a repeat of that though. WRT to overtiredness Ibu - he'll normally stay awake from around 8.30 until 10.30, when I take him out for a walk to settle him. He'll wake back up when we get home half an hour later, then it's the usual routine of feed, cry, nappy change, cry until about 1ish. Then he'll sleep until 4ish, then cry, feed, nappy change and not sleep until 8.30-9ish. I'm not sure how I'd get him to sleep when he doesn't want to. He also hates a wet nappy so that wakes him up/makes him cry a lot as well.

How much should he be sleeping during the day? T'internet says all different things!

He's currently sitting quite happily in his vibrating bouncy chair - it's amazing. I also think it helps him poo! There's a certain aroma... Maybe that's a source of the crying for him too? He's never had much luck in the bowel department.

I do have a sling for him, but unless he's already quite sleepy, he screams in that too. When he goes in it, he stays quite sleepy then I worry he won't sleep at night! It's a minefield, this baby business.

Ibu1986 Sun 02-Aug-15 05:34:43

That's amazing sleeping last night; I hope it continues!

I'm no baby sleep expert, but I have read a lot about it since being blessed with a sleep fighting baby. One thing I never realised was just how much sleep they needed and how short their windows of wakefulness are:

www.troublesometots.com/are-you-keeping-baby-awake-too-long/

The other thing that I learnt was not all babies automatically fall asleep when tired. My DS fights sleep likr anything and I have to consciously force him to nap. It's exhausting but he's so much happier when well rested. I keep an eye on the clock and watch out for his tired cues. At 12 weeks he normally goes down for a nap after being awake for about 1 hr 15- 1hr 30 but all babies are different. I either go for a walk with him in the carrier or he naps in his cot after I've rocked him in a dark room with swaddle and white noise.

One final piece of advice I was given was that if you get them down well for the first nap of the day the other naps are easier. Also their window of wakefulness for the first nap tends to be shorter.

Apologies for the essay. I hope some of it is useful.

Teeste Wed 05-Aug-15 13:23:58

Ibu sorry it's taken me a while to reply, just wanted to say that was a solid gold piece of advice re the sleep there! Our little man was indeed overtired and, since enforcing naps, has been much happier. I do have to draw the blinds and do lots of shushing and nose stroking, occasionally pop him in the sling or go for a walk in the pram, but it's a small price to pay! He's still sleeping through at night, too, which is amazing. So thank you flowers

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