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Could my DD be on the spectrum??? Or something else??

(17 Posts)
Honeymoonmummy Sat 18-Jul-15 21:01:09

DD is 6, she's a v bright girl, top girl in her class in reading level, just had a great end of year report. She's a popular girl and while she's happy to play alone doesn't seem to have a problem socialising.

However, while she tolerates it she dislikes physical contact and has done since being a baby, she doesn't like it when other girls come up and hug her and will usually try to run away although will never be violent. She's fine with hugs from me, slightly less so from her dad and will sometimes seek out a hug, more so from me, (she's a mummy's girl)

Then there's her emotions. She's normally pretty rational although we do have occasional tantrums, rarely in public. But, to give you an example, my mums partner is dying of lung cancer and DD has been told he might not get better, she saw the same thing with her grandad last year so she knows where it's going I think although she's not said it out loud (typical of her). This morning I told her that I needed to spend more time with Granny and partner because he was v poorly and she needed help. She said oh no and got a bit upset (about me not being around as much, she can be v clingy with me) but was fine in 10 seconds. A minute later we were talking about a present she's got for a school friends party, she'd got a cuddly toy. Next second she walked up to me in tears with arms out for a hug and was really crying (she doesn't often produce tears). I comforted her and after a minute said "he's really poorly love" thinking she was upset about the situation, she immediately said "it's not that, I really want the cuddly toy". It's not the first time this kind of thing has happened.

Any thoughts? (If anyone's still reading!!) TIA

Honeymoonmummy Sat 18-Jul-15 21:02:44

Is this a normal 6 yr old not yet properly in touch with her emotions thing or something else?

zoemaguire Sat 18-Jul-15 21:06:08

I think she sounds like a pretty typical six year old! They arent known for their huge capacity for empathy, and terminal illness is a pretty difficult thing to grasp at that age. I'm no professional, but there is nothing in what you've written that would make me think she is on the spectrum.

TattieHowkerz Sat 18-Jul-15 21:10:08

Nothing stands out as suggestive of ASC to me. Does/did she enjoy pretend play?

There are lots of variations of normal.

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees Sat 18-Jul-15 21:11:54

I have an autistic child. I can honestly say your child sounds fine. If you are worried speak to her teacher but I really think you have nothing to worry about.

FunHouseGrandPrix Sat 18-Jul-15 21:14:41

I have two children with autism and there is nothing you have written that would concern me. Have school raised any concerns ?

sunnydayinmay Sat 18-Jul-15 21:17:52

Try reading the Highly Sensitive Child, or google sensory processing disorders - my ds is very similar regarding the touching etc. Does she mind hair brushes, nail trims etc.

DS is also funny with emotions. Can be very very matter of fact about sime things, and hyper emotional about others.

He also has a wide circle of friends and is a deep, but sensitive, child.

Honeymoonmummy Sat 18-Jul-15 23:50:52

Thanks all for your responses. Thanks Sunnyday, she does act up about having her nails cut and don't get me started about brushing her hair! I will read up about it in the morning

Honeymoonmummy Sat 18-Jul-15 23:52:50

When her grandad died of cancer last year, she was clearly upset but didn't show it anywhere near as much as my 4yo DS who would get upset, "I miss grandad" etc.

SirVixofVixHall Sat 18-Jul-15 23:53:42

She sounds normal to me too. My younger dd will deny being upset about something that is really bothering her and put the focus on something else in the same way. (She was 8 recently). I think your dd is worrying about the illness and upset but at the same time wants it not to be the case. She sounds sensitive, that's all.

Honeymoonmummy Sat 18-Jul-15 23:54:09

Oh and she loves pretend play.

Butterflywings168 Sun 19-Jul-15 00:34:12

She's 6. Sounds normal to me.

Butterflywings168 Sun 19-Jul-15 00:38:21

And yy, not openly weeping and wailing over her GF doesn't mean she doesn't care.
Agree with pp that she might be highly sensitive - Google 'the highly sensitive child'.

Butterflywings168 Sun 19-Jul-15 00:39:04

Oh sorry someone already posted that!

NotCitrus Sun 19-Jul-15 07:57:25

Just to add that pretend play doesn't in itself rule out high-functioning autism - ds is similar in many ways and being assessed for autism after a detailed developmental assessment - if the pretend play is very much related to books or TV programmes she's seen, it could be a factor.

Though as said above you can have several of the traits of autism without being in that specific diagnostic category - I ought to re-read The Highly Sensitive Child and the resources on anxiety the paed gave me.

I was pretty similar but grew out of the worst of the sensitivity - could have done without the constant shaming for being too emotional (or visibly emotional over the "wrong" things), so we try hard to make sure that doesn't happen to ds.

backtowork2015 Thu 23-Jul-15 19:32:59

when I was 6 my great grandmother and my granny's dog died in the same week. I was gutted about the dog, don't remember feeling too upset about great granny. shock

pause4thought Fri 07-Aug-15 00:13:21

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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