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Constant Crying in 20month Old???

(9 Posts)
stuckinahole Mon 13-Jul-15 16:16:29

Constant Crying / Whinging?

Ever since DS was born he has cried non stop unless being carried, was told "don't worry mine was the same once he can crawl, move, weaned, walk etc he will stop, oh mine hated being a baby but when he could walk he stopped crying"

well we are now 20 Months in and the constant crying / whinging is STILL going on!

I actually don't know if it will ever stop. Have spoken to GP, HV etc and they say nothing wrong (other than they question MY MENTAL HEALTH as the crying is so relentless)

Don't get me wrong we have episodes (an hour here & there) of some happiness but other than that it's fucking incessant (I can't wait to get to work for the break!) I just wish I knew how to please him.

Any tips are very welcomed!!!!

holeinmyheart Mon 13-Jul-15 19:43:07

My GS grizzled a lot. I bought a second hand Fisher Price Jumperoo and he loved that. When he got tired of that I had an indoor swing.

Unfortunately they just don't have the language to tell you what the heck is going on in their head.
I used to sing at the top of my voice Opera sounding gibberish. I had figure puppets on my fingers and enacted daft dialogues. I used distraction tactics. I rocked him to get him to stop whinging.
I think his teeth were painful. He seemed to improve after a dose of Calpol.

However it has passed. He is a lovely happy smiley little creature now. ( phew) All phases pass. Just try and keep your cool and be as patient as you can because the little blighter isn't plotting against you, he is just being a 20 month year old.
We have all been there. Hugs

Chickz Mon 13-Jul-15 22:10:26

Sympathies op I have one of those. 21 months now. She's very sensitive and emotional and lots of things set her off though she is slowly getting better but it is slow!
Some babies just have more challenging temperaments and feel frustration a lot. Frustration through not being able to communicate or being able to do what they like. And things bother them a lot and they don't have the ability to regulate their emotions very well.
It's soul destroying. I cry lots as its so so tough and wish dd was happier.
Going back to work helped me tremedously. It's still so hard and the anxiety and stress is still there but not so much. On the plus side, I've never loved my job so much.
Take care and PM me if you need to chat more. Good luck.

stuckinahole Tue 14-Jul-15 11:14:19

You are both so kind. It's just made me smile knowing that I am not alone smile

BlueBananas Tue 14-Jul-15 11:39:49

I have one like this too! Constantly moaned, whined, whinged and wailed since he was born
He turned 6 at the weekend an I hate to tell you he is still like this, he is better don't get me wrong, soooo much better but I think he's just negative by nature
Some things that helped us -
Making sure he's not overtired or hungry (although I'm sure you do this already)
Have you ruled out any sensory issues? My son is very very noise sensitive and when there's too many noises going in at once he gets all in a tizzy and wails and cries even when he isn't sure why
In a similar vein have you had his eyes & hearing tested - could problems here be causing his frustration?

The biggest thing that made a difference to DS though was getting him to recognise his emotions, so instead of him crying for evvvvvverything, he could say "I'm sad" "I'm angry" "I'm lonely" "I'm bored" etc etc and I could then try to resolve the issue rather than just going "Oh for god sake stop crying" and not actually helping him. At 20 months you could start with picture cards illustrating feelings and naming his emotions for him, then say "you're angry because you broke a toy (or whatever) instead of crying let's see if we can fix it"

Also as hard as it is try to ignore the crying as much as possible and praise the good parts ( I know this bit is really really hard!) My son has a chart on his wall at the moment where he gets a sticker every day that he doesn't cry for no reason and a Red Cross on the days that he does, if he gets 3 stickers in a row he gets a treat, maybe some kid of incentive could work for your DS? Although he's probably too young for a sticker chart ATM

It does get better though I promise
Sorry for the long post and if it sounded condescending, hopefully some of it may help

stuckinahole Tue 14-Jul-15 20:31:56

Very helpful and thank you for the advice - whoa! Do you think some kids are just more high needs than others?

Chickz Tue 14-Jul-15 20:55:03

Definately. High needs babies and toddlers are very sensitive more needy, more emotional, more exhausting. Everything is just more.
No one can understand what it's like unless your in it.
I've researched high needs babies to death. About 10% of babies are high needs. So we all fall into that percentage. Over time though things will get better- but BlueBananas - your post did scare me a little.
The weird thing is that despite the 10% I don't seem to know many high needs babies. My nephew was one- he turned into a different child by age 3 and is now a delight. A friend has a high needs baby but hers seems a bit more manageable than mine.
As bluebananas now is the time to start rewarding good behaviour with praise, clapping, kisses etc. offering choices helps so they feel that they have some control.
And warnings in advance when it's time to do something to avoid a meltdown.
If you Google 'Dr Sears high needs babies' you will find more interesting stuff which may help you. I bought the fussy baby book by Dr Sears and it was a revelation.

stuckinahole Wed 15-Jul-15 06:57:10

Many thanks again! I will be making that purchase today smile

And another comment I faced today, "wow he's (DS) impatient ... he's 20mths" confused

BlueBananas Wed 15-Jul-15 08:45:44

Sorry didn't mean to scare anyone! I spent years telling myself (and other people telling me) that he was "just a baby" then it was terrible twos, then threes, then "just a phase" so just thought I'd pre-warn you that it might not end that easily

I definitely think it's just some peoples nature, some people are just pessimistic, some are high maintenance, some are very anxious, some are very sensitive. My DS seems to be a lovely combination of all of the above, you wouldn't question a difficult adult, and it has to start somewhere doesn't it
All we can do is try to help them manage their outbursts in the best way possible - and try to stay sane ourselves!
Good luck!

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