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Massive tantrums and violence in a 5yo

(1 Post)
AllTheFluffyAnimals Sun 12-Jul-15 13:10:33

Dd2 has always had a temper, but people kept telling me she would grow out of it.

She can be the most loving and enthusiastic child you ever met - she loves cuddles and her special blanket, she helps out round the house and she's very clever, reading fluently and writing long stories (often about death, and with unique spelling, but she's 5 so that's all fine)

Her temper is so hard to control, and it must be horrible for her to feel like that.

All sorts can set her off, and I can generally spot it coming but can't always stop it.

She usually starts by lashing out, often at something or someone unrelated to what is annoying her. She will grab dd1s hair or bite my hand or whatever. She sometimes tries to run away (which can be dangerous), strip off (not aapropiate in public, difficult when we are late for school) or throws things around. If I try to ignore she starts running around breaking things and doing dangerous things until I intervene, when she turns on me. She spits, bites, kicks, hits, nips, scratches, pulls my hair and throws my glasses away. She shouts and screams and hits walls. Often I have to restrain her (my sister is a SN teacher and showed me safe ways to do this) but she is strong and headbutts and spits. My sister thinks she's just having tantrums but I've never seen a 5yo kick off that badly. My sister does say that they are impressive tantrums though.

Dd2 mostly seems to kick off at me but does sometimes do it to other people. She is apparently good as gold at school although I'm not sure how she will take to stricter rules in year one.

She shouts that she needs a wee, but if I let her go in the bathroom alone she wrecks it and locks the door. She shouts that I hurt her when I hold her but if I let go of her hands she claws my face. If I put her in her room she breaks dd1s toys and bangs her head on her bed.

When she eventually calms down I can sing to her and she has a cuddle then is tired and calm.

Any tips welcome.

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