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Behaviour of your 3 year old.

(15 Posts)
SproutsMa Sun 12-Jul-15 11:41:48

My son is currently going through diagnosis for autism. In the past few weeks he has become a total little bad word and when I tell people that he has had me in tears yet again they tell me it's mostly his age. I've been blaming it all on asd because I have no other children around me to compare to. Tell me what your 2-3year old does so that I can know if I'm just not making any allowance for his age because of his pending diagnosis. Are they really this mental at this age?

MiaowTheCat Sun 12-Jul-15 12:42:10

I have a 2 and 3 year old. I'm also an ex early years teacher so I'm fairly hot on being consistent with boundaries and the like.

DD1 has had me in tears a fair few times recently - we seem to get a pattern of a spot of hell on earth and then back to lovely little girl again - the hell on earth phases are thankfully getting shorter as time goes on at least - but it's a really nasty smirking trying to crack me type of attitude when she's testing the boundaries.

Tiredness has a MASSIVE effect though - to Jekyll and Hyde levels.

We had a relatively easy time with the terrible twos with her as she was very very verbal, whereas her sister's having a much worse time aged two so I'm hoping the law of you're going to get a shit phase at some point makes her better through the threes.

pinkstrawberries Sun 12-Jul-15 12:48:58

No they aren't. My dd has ASD, and to me after that any child is easy.

pinkstrawberries Sun 12-Jul-15 12:54:50

What exactly is your ds doing? As people have different perceptions of challenging behaviour dependent on what they are used to, and their previous experience

makeminea6x Sun 12-Jul-15 12:55:35

My 3 to is/was almost exactly like miaow - not a terrible two as very verbal, but woah at 3. Just arguing about every single tiny detail of the day. We would lie in bed in trepidation of how we were going to manage the morning, not knowing what would trigger the screaming and hitting.

Then, as quick as it came, it settled after about a month. She does still struggle at 3.5, particularly if I'm trying to hurry her but otherwise life is nice again. She is NT, I should have said.

pinkstrawberries Sun 12-Jul-15 13:05:50

Mine at 2/3 was well known locally for her meltdowns by taxi drivers/shop assistants/cafe staff.

She used to scream for an hour at a time, hit, kick, make me bleed from scratching/kicking, shut people in rooms. We couldn't have guests in the home.

I had to be shut in the nursery bathroom once for an hour with her, as she was screaming and having a meltdown and noone could stop her. She broke a toilet on that occasion by lying on the floor and kicking it so it dislodged from the floor .
completely. She used to get superhuman strength. 2 people used to try and stop her and couldn't.

I do not miss age 3!

pinkstrawberries Sun 12-Jul-15 13:11:51

She is 7 now it has stopped but it is better.She still screams, she still lashes out, pinches me, hurts people, can never see the other side to a situation.

After a while you get used to it, and it is not for as long as it used to be. She also saves it all for at home, and behaves at school. I do think the gulf between her and her peers became more noticeable at 6/7 as she doesn't really get what is going on.

She has limited understanding, so say she wants a drink once she is in meltdown zone she can't speak. She will just do something like try and push me in the road when I am pushing the buggy. She does say 'sorry' afterwards now, but then will just do the same next week.

pinkstrawberries Sun 12-Jul-15 18:36:46

I will come back to this and say it's not all bad. She has just tidied the whole place for me as she knows I am in a really bad way.

Kraggle Sun 12-Jul-15 18:42:14

My 2 and a bit year old is so quick to tantrum, shouts, screams, cries, throws things and hits out when she doesn't get her way. Whines instantly if she can't do something. It's very wearing and she has no problems as far as we're aware, just the normal terrible, terrible 2's.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Sun 12-Jul-15 18:42:51

Mine is 3.6. She has over the last couple of months become very emotional. For instance, DH shuts the kitchen door and it is immediatley tears "I wanted to go out and plaaaaaaaay" - erm, just open the door then?

Or jist randomly "I need a weeeeeeee" whilst crying - you know where the toilet is.

Just unnecessary crying. It wearing.

CatsRule Sun 12-Jul-15 21:28:40

My 3 year old is either really lovely or totally horrible! He's an emotional rollercoaster most of the time. He has been screaming (neighbours must think he's being murdered) for the last hour as he doesn't want to sleep...he is so tired! He is on meds and the side effects are behavioural issues, I never know if it's just him being 3 and trying to assert his authority or if it's the meds...he really struggles to control his rage sometimes, often can be screaming sorry mummy while in a tantrum like state. He really struggles with sleep too, he tends to be a lot calmer and more rational when he sleeps well though...it's a constant cycle at the moment.

Bythedowns2 Sun 12-Jul-15 21:29:31

My 3.5 dd has suddenly become very hard work she is very verbal, answering back and being cheeky which is almost worse than tantrums and can be completely unreasonable, she has had me in tears of frustration this week but can go from being a lovely helpful child to being a monster, like miaowthecat said tiredness doesn't help her! We never had terrible twos

Aramynta Mon 13-Jul-15 07:59:04

3 yr old DS is a nightmare. The past couple of months have been absolutely soul destroying. This includes....

1) Screaming for no apparent reason.
2)Screaming and crying hysterically any time he is told off, no matter the severity
3) Screaming, hitting, kicking and shouting every time he doesn't want to do something (get in the car/tidy up/eat dinner/go to bed).
4) Ignoring us when we tell him to do something.
5) Screaming if he tastes something he doesn't like.

Ignoring him makes it worse and he just screams and ends up hysterical.

Ineedacleaningfairy Mon 13-Jul-15 12:28:17

My nearly 3 year old is in some ways quite hard work. He often ignores what I say, things like dont try to pick up the baby or don't bang your fork on the table get ignored but usually more serious things like stop, you must hold my hand it's a car park or no running near water he listens to.

He went through a stage of hating sharing to the point where every play date ended with us both feeling pretty stressed (and I imagine his poor little friends were also quite stressed) this is getting better slowly.

He has huge amounts of energy, he's a jumping/running/climbing sort of child and if we don't do something active he can end up being a bit wild at home, things like jumping on the sofa or banding with toys, we go out everyday to try to avoid this!

He doesn't tantrum much, he's had 2 in his life but they were pretty short lived, he's very verbal so I wonder if that is why. He's good at saying sorry and if I say I'm going to count to 3 and I want you to put your shoes on/finish playing in the park/pick up a toy that he threw he 9 times out of 10 does what I have ask him to do. He's good at saying sorry when he's hurt someone but he is quite rough with the baby and it doesn't seem to stick in his head that you cans lie on the baby/pick it up/snatch toys.

I think he's probably nt, his energy levels concern me a little and make me wonder about possible adhd but I guess we will wait and see.

SproutsMa Mon 20-Jul-15 19:33:03

Thanks everyone. Maybe I am being a bit unfair on him. He has started to be a bit of a pickle, but probably not displaying half of what I just read above. You ladies are superwomen. smile

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