Anger management?(4 Posts)
How can I tackle anger management with my DD? She's nearly 4. She has my short fuse and despite my best intentions is starting to shout just like I do. I had a few sessions of CBT and read a dummies guide book and this helped me recognise my triggers and helped me flip out less, but lately it has escalated back up, particularly as I'm now 7 months pregnant with Baby3. I know she is learning her behaviour from me, but when she just can't calm herself or stop and listen it's making me crack up. Yesterday, she pitched a fit in the shared garden as she had wanted a little girl to come and play. I explained that she had gone to have her tea and bath and bed just like we were doing, but she kept screaming 'I want to play with her' for about 15 minutes- I'm sure the other family heard it too. After the initial 5 minutes I took her in from the garden, but I couldn't help her calm down inside either and she carried on howling. Eventually I cracked and shouted stop very loudly and took her up to her room, repeated that the other girl had gone for tea/bed etc and there was nothing I could do. I offered to hug her but she said no and carried on screaming, then started throwing her toys around the room. She eventually stopped when daddy came home, the distraction was good. She's quite a sensitive child- I hate being shouty mum, but after a time I just don't know what else to try and I crack. What else can I try? I don't want her to end up full of rage like me.
Well she's still little , so she'll want to get what she wants when she wants it. They don't understand deferred gratification at that age. I'd make sure she eats when she's hungry or at least has a good drink esp. in this weather. Low blood sugar contributes to rages as you probably are aware.
I would also look at her (and your ) wheat consumption that's known for causing rages there's a book called Grain Brain by Dr Perlmutter if you don't believe me. It gives dh the rage and exhaustion.
Good luck, also make things into games with her, make her toys talk e.g. "teddy says he's tired like your friend and he's going to have a bath shall we bath him ?"
Thanks, I'll take a look at it. She'd just had tea and was back outside for a quick play on the swing before bath. It's just so heartbreaking to see her collapse with anger.
Try positive reinforcement, which is notice her when she's being quiet and 'good' by praising her and what she's doing and ignore the meltdowns as long as everyone's safe!! if possible, that really does work.
There's also a book called "How to Speak so Children will Listen and Listen so children will speak" That helps a lot.
Pick your battles, and try to avoid being too heavy with her.
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