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4 year old obsessing about other people

(10 Posts)
inaminutedarling Wed 08-Jul-15 17:25:33

Having Googled and found nothing I've resorted to Mumsnet.

My daughter has always been sociable bordering on obsessive and it's really come to a head this week. We're on holiday and made casual conversation with another couple and their one year old baby and my daughter played ball with the baby for half an hour or so before we all went our separate ways. The next day she spots the same family on the beach and all she wants to do is go and see them to the point where she wailed and sobbed for ages. Gently explaining why not made no difference (neither did getting shouty!) and it got to the point where we just wanted to leave the beach. This is one example of many. We're now really concerned by this obsessional thing she seems to have about people and it's often people she's only just met but not exclusively.
Has anyone heard of this sort of behaviour? She's extremely smart, confident and sociable. Adults love talking to her. She's overly tactile with people, often throwing herself at them or sidling up for a cuddle when we -as her parents - usually only get this affectionate behavior when she wants something. Any advice would be greatfully received!

Hemlock2013 Wed 08-Jul-15 17:31:02

No advice but my dd (2.5) is incredibly similar. Can really see it escalating too.

inaminutedarling Wed 08-Jul-15 17:49:31

The signs were there as early as 2... *behaviour and gratefully!! Putting those typos down to stress! shock

Allthatnonsense Wed 08-Jul-15 22:29:47

She's still learning how to be friendly and what the boundaries are. It must be hard for little ones to gage what is appropriate as what is deemed acceptable changes from situation to situation.
Just be glad that she is confident and sociable rather than cripplingly shy.

Pedestriana Wed 08-Jul-15 22:39:58

My DD is very similar, and of a similar age. I have started to take her to a regular group once a week and she's met the other children about four times. She keeps cuddling and kissing them and tries to pick them up. All. the. time.

Last week she tried to get a little tot of about 18 months to do the hokey cokey by moving her legs for her. sad I did apologise to the mother.

Mostly it's fine, but sometimes it is infuriating. Like when you're shopping. She says hello to everyone, and wants to know what their name is, and why they are shopping. If she's met the person before she'll keep calling them and talking to them, regardless of what they're trying to do (like work there!).

However, that said, I'd rather she was outgoing than painfully shy. I'm sure that over time, she'll rein it in.

LittleLionMansMummy Fri 10-Jul-15 08:49:10

You could be describing my ds, same age. However he is amenable (mostly) to a discussion/ explanation, although sometimes takes some convincing. People love him, he loves people. He's just an extrovert who gets a lot out of interacting with lots of different people and places. I feel worn out just watching him sometimes. Just out of interest, what did you say to her as a reason not to speak to them?

StoneCuttersStreet Fri 10-Jul-15 08:56:27

IME this is pretty normal and te majority of people find this charming. People much prefer it to a moody or shy child! Mine were/are all like this and the older two grew out of it as they started to develop inhibitions. Which almost all children do eventually. I really wouldn't worry about it. She sounds like a sweet girl! smile

inaminutedarling Fri 10-Jul-15 23:16:47

Thank you for all the lovely replies and advice.
I have also now found some good advice online which made me realise I should let her be as she wants to be.
LittleLion I'm not proud of what I resorted to saying but suffice to say, I will try to handle things better in future!
Oh and thanks Stonecutter... She really is very sweet and I think one of the reasons I get stressed is because I hate seeing her getting rejected.

inaminutedarling Fri 10-Jul-15 23:19:44

Not that that happens often and not that she minds much if it does...arghhh!

pause4thought Fri 07-Aug-15 00:19:31

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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