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Help me with my stroppy toddler please

(5 Posts)
Wotsitsareafterme Sun 05-Jul-15 19:55:29

Dd1 is 5.5 and very easy going most of the time. Dd2 is 2.5 and the opposite. We have got through the look at her wrong and she cries stage now it's the strop at everything stage.

Most of my exasperation is about her sleep. She can take up to 90 minutes to fall asleep and I have to sit with her. If o didn't I would have more patience with her in the day.
Next is the constant mithering. Dd1 within reason is content in her own company and can quite happily amuse herself while I get things done and I've noticed the time extend since she was little. Dd2 cannot manage for more than a few minutes and constantly obstructs me and gets upset. I think I've realised dd1 and I are probably introverts and dd2 is an extrovert as she's very social and super confident with other children etc.

The other issue is the complete tantrums she had if I won't let her do everything herself. Normally because we're late. I know it's a sign of intelligence but it's very very trying coupled with the no listening or following instructions whatsoever cue massive tantrum.

She is such hard work I am really struggling.

holeinmyheart Sun 05-Jul-15 22:06:50

We have all been there so you are not alone
Your Dd2 is too young to articulate in words whatever it is she feels aggrieved about. She is also too young to plot as in ' let's see what will drive Mummy batshite today'
What she is doing is what most 2.5 year olds do when they are determined to do something, but find they can't, they yell with frustration and anger.
What I have found works at her age is a diversion.

To demonstrate. She wants another ice cream, you say' no' ( because she has had one already etc) she then starts to yell blue murder.

You remain calm at all times, even if you feel like swapping her for a CD and say in an exaggerated theatrical voice , Oh look at that big bird, what is it doing, ( point towards the sky with exaggerated motion) . I found this worked. Sometimes if indoors I would run to a window and say in a loud voice oh oh what is going on here. They are so curious that they stop yelling.
I also used to start singing in an unconcerned way some mad song. Like a pretend operatic opera type song.
I am not saying that you shouldn't have boundaries and stern talking to's but I found diversion always worked best.
i also kept small boxes and put things in them, such as a couple of sultanas. I opened and shut the box in front of them and said' wow what's in here? Their curiosity usually overcame them and I was able to get their shoes on, or whatever, as they examined the box.
It sounds involved and a lot of effort but I planned.
What is the alternative?
You fight them. They yell, you yell , everyone gets very upset and you feel like a shite Mum.

Wotsitsareafterme Sun 05-Jul-15 23:16:21

Thank you I will try the diversion tomorrow! I am on removing planned fun stuff at the moment but I have to threaten it 12 times before anything works hmm

jimijack Sun 05-Jul-15 23:30:17

Diversion is the only way.
I am a champion diverter me.

"OH NO, WHERE'S THAT LITTLE MOUSE/spider/frog/bug just gone?" Pointing under a chair or whatever.
"I'm sure I saw a mouse/cat/bug/spider in this shoe I need to get on you NOW...
"Oh no, thaw car is broken, we need to go and check if it will work if you press the button" gets them out of the house.....step 1!!!

Mine won't eat at the mo either, so "DON'T YOU DARE eat that carrot/Apple/chicken because I want to eat it in a minute" turn away and dramatically look back in horror when they shove it in. Then "don't dare eat any more"....repeat until it's gone.

Failing that, ignore, step over them & get on with your day.

Breath, count and eat fucking she'd loads of chocolate.

Wotsitsareafterme Mon 06-Jul-15 21:21:28

Cheers jimi you made me smile. She was quite a bit better today hen she threw up all over her car seat!

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