8 year old naturally has a really sick sense of humour... discipline issue or not?

[emmaporter]

Hi folks,

I haven't posted here for years, but today I think I need to dip into a broader pool for some wisdom.

My eight year old son has specific language impairment, and although he's able to function very well with his peers, sometimes there are some slight issues over what is appropriate when. He's a smart little thing, exceeding all the averages academically.

A few weeks ago, I was stopped at the school gate by the deputy head, who had been approached by the speech therapist. "Oh good, they're talking to each other for a change" I thought, then she continued. The speech therapist had come to her with some concerns as the child had started talking to her about bunny suicides.

Yes, I did. After listening to him laugh like a drain for half an hour in Waterstones, I gave in and bought it for his birthday and he was chuffed. I took the time to explain that other grown-ups might think it too sick and twisted for a child his age, and that I was trusting him to not talk about it at school, especially with adults looking after him. Clearly he felt a bit too chummy with the speech therapist and forgot himself.

So I thought I was in the clear when he promised again to keep his mouth shut, and I did my best to apologise to the deputy head who had no sense of humour about it whatsoever.

Some of you will be turning purple right now and calling me all the names under the sun. And I totally get you. However, you've got to understand that this kid just finds this stuff absolutely hilarious. Anything involving comic injury or peril makes him sometimes literally pee his pants. He draws pictures of elaborate machines with stick-girls being fed into them and turned into cupcakes, curry, etc. I am definitely not the instigator in this issue, and his amusement began long before the ill-fated shopping incident.

Since the child is just expressing his natural preference for comedically violent deaths, but does not have any tendency towards violence (in fact, he becomes terribly distressed if he accidentally hurts one of his brothers or friends) should I consider this to be a problem or discipline issue, or just hope that somehow he grows out of it or at least makes us some cash writing marketable books, comedy scripts etc...

Anyone else been in trouble like me?

[Jasonandyawegunorts]

discipline issue, what?
He's 8 and he was talking about a book he found funny, a book you brought him?

[Jasonandyawegunorts]

also, judging fromyou post history, your son seems to have been 8 for over a year.

[00100001]

jason The precise age isn't important... maybe she didn't want to out herself?


It's not a problem - next it will be the Bunny Book of Farts or something just as "hilarious"

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

I think I'd be having a chat about the drawings tbh. He might form them into 'marketable books' but I'm not sure it's worth it!

Are you asking whether we have similar 'funny stories', or whether you should discipline him? It's not clear what you want here.

[balletgirlmum]

I've never heard of it but just googled it.

My 11 yeR old would love that. I don't see a problem & if school are concerned that. Chikd has a black sense of humour they ought to worry more about all the 8 year olds playing COD & GTA.

[RepeatAdNauseum]

His sense of humour isn't the problem. His inability to judge whether it's appropriate to talk about things is.

Usually I'd say don't buy him any further books until he's learnt that, so they'll do less harm and he'll be less likely to offend people, but if it's part of a language impairment, that may not happen. I think the advice has to be the same, though.

I'd be worried about those drawings, too. They could cause some trouble if the wrong person comes across them. Does he understand where it is appropriate to draw/show that type of picture?

[Jackie0]

The speech therapist is a but of a goodie two shoes, isn't she?
And a mouth!

[balletgirlmum]

Thinking about it when hecwas 8 my ds loved some annoying youtube song about dumb ways to die. I think it originated as a health & safety video.

[00100001]

theorginal it's not the childs' book that he wrote/drew, you can buy it in the shops

[Hairylegs007]

I think you could easily move him on to fart and poo cartoon stuff. Suicide in itself is an awful thing but in cartoon form it becomes tom and jerry like

[Hairylegs007]

I think your DD just needs to know when and how to act appropriately. It's a bit like knowing not to use horrid swear words in front of small children or granny

[Hairylegs007]

Does his SEN mean he doesn't get the subtleties around what's appropriate

[Jasonandyawegunorts]

jason The precise age isn't important... maybe she didn't want to out herself?

It is, there is a massive difference between 7 and 9 in terms of humour whats appropriate.

[SirChenjin]

Suicide is not funny. At all. I'm amazed you gave in to his request so easily.

And buying something for an 8 year old and then telling him to keep quiet about it? Really?

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

110011 whatever, I was referring to the part of the OP where she says this: He draws pictures of elaborate machines with stick-girls being fed into them and turned into cupcakes, curry, etc. I know what the bunny suicides are!

[emmaporter]

Jason, he is 8, but since you've been researching, the other one was 8 a couple of years ago. In this case, the SEN means that he has some difficulties or differences in how he responds to people. He seems to live in a world full of sunshine and rainbows where everybody loves him. He becomes obsessively worried about actual death and danger on the news, yet thinks it's hilarious in cartoon form.

I think we're alright. But yes, perhaps I'll be a little more careful what I let him get his hands on in future... just for my own sake!

[PourquoiTuGachesTaVie]

I wouldn't have bought him that book but maybe channel it into Tom and Jerry or old slapstick comedy stuff?

[Jasonandyawegunorts]

the other one was 8 a couple of years ago.

2014.
And yes i research posters i respond to beucase knowing a little history helps form replies.

[adoptmama]

Roald Dahl made a wonderful living out of books where children were fed into machines and came out as something edible ;)

Really it's a total non-issue. You bought him a book, he enjoyed it, he talked about it at school, speech-therapist raised some concerns possibly because she is daft and possibly because she has no idea it is a comedy book and thinks your son is a budding serial killer into torturing animals and kids. But the head a copy of the book, and let your son enjoy his cartoons.

I can guarantee there are children of his age watching far, far, far more inappropriate things at home on YouTube and talking about it at school! Just remind your son not everyone shares his sense of humour and some people will find that kind of cartoon a bit off and leave it at that. There's certainly no discipline issue.

[mugglingalong]

I would make a mental note to try to choose book titles more wisely, however I don't think that an 8yr old can be told not to talk about things at school - they just will. Around the same age dd read (attempted) Hucklebury Finn in its original form with book club. There was some interesting language so we had to explain to her what the context of the time was and why she must not ever use certain words. Maybe a discussion with him about why some people might find bunny suicide upsetting. I would probably do it when you buy the book. Maybe the speech therapist has lost someone so is particularly attuned to it.

I do understand- dd2 has a fairly dark sense of humour and says that she always likes sad endings and was picked up for it at her old school. I think that some adults think that children should live in a lovely fluffy innocent world. However as children's books show (e.g. Lemony Snicket, Roald Dhal) show there is a market. I think that it seems to occur around the time that a child is beginning to question magic, realise that life has a darker side etc and wants to test themselves to see whether they can cope with it.

[00100001]

Ah, I completely missed the curry bit steamingnit

I wouldn't be concerned, there all sorts if comic violence that kids are shown, as a PP said Roald Dahl is a bit gruesome in his books! And there was the TV series Grizzly Tales for Griseimes Kids.
Also the horrible histories etc.


Non-issue in my mind.

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

Have no beef with Lemony Snicket etc - and I'm not trying to overstate the case here, but whilst I could get on board with the bunny suicide stuff, I would find the drawings a bit concerning.

[adoptmama]

Let's face it - these are the kind of cartoons the speech therapist is getting her garters in a twist over. Not exactly the Amityville Horror!

[BertrandRussell]

"He draws pictures of elaborate machines with stick-girls being fed into them and turned into cupcakes, curry, etc"

Does he draw loads of other stuff as well, or just this?

[SirChenjin]

No, of course it's not Amityville horror - but perhaps she finds the fact that an 8 year old is asking for, and being given books which present suicide as a joke and then being told to keep quiet about it, somewhat distasteful. These aren't books which are found in the children's book section - so not something an 8 year old would stumble across while choosing something to read.