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4 year old behaviour - praise just makes her cross!

(3 Posts)
Tumtetum Fri 26-Jun-15 20:51:19

I am struggling with my four year old's behaviour all year at the moment. I've just read a few other threads on 3/4 year olds so at least I know it's not just me! She seems to be cross a lot of the time and the slightest thing will set her off. We do have a lot of 1:1 time and lots of cuddles. When she's not being a grumpy, angry, shouting, spitting child she is lovely, funny, loving and kind. Lots of the advice I have read seems to be to ignore the bad behaviour as much as possible and to praise praise praise, but that doesn't seem to be working. When I praise her e.g. "You are walking very nicely next to me DD", it just seems to piss her off. It either makes her grumpy or it makes her then deliberately start doing the opposite of what I have said. Any suggestions? Should I just chalk it up as a parenting technique that doesn't work with this particular child? And what can I do instead???

Ferguson Fri 26-Jun-15 22:54:18

Maybe it doesn't come across to her as sincere and spontaneous; she might think you only say it 'cos MNs told you to! And maybe she's right . . .

It is difficult to get the correct balance, but certainly praise and being involved, but without overdoing, is preferable to nagging and being cross.

Heyho111 Fri 26-Jun-15 22:59:10

Praise is different for every child. Many respond to verbal praise while others respond to a visual response. Perhaps try star stickers. Pretty beads in a jar. When you get home or after she's done something great at home she adds a fairy bead to the pot. When there's twenty she gets to choose a treat from the fairy box. Make your own personal version up for her.

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