Please can anyone help. I am looking for a professional to help settle my three your old daughter with her new Step Father who is trying very hard to build a loving relationship with her and often getting rebuffed. Also to advice the adults in the situation Mother, biological Father and Step Father how best to deal with he situation and provide loving unified upbringing for her. my daughte lives with me, my husband (her step father) and his two older children and sees her biological Father at the weekends.
No advice on professionals, but from personal experience (as the child, not the parent) - give it time, and her stepfather needs to give her space and not try too hard. Be approachable and open to play, but let her be the one to initiate it. As they get more used to each other, perhaps they could do the occasional errand together - popping to the shops, cleaning the car, something short and enjoyable. If everyone can just be themselves and relaxed as much as possible, and be matter of fact about the situation (and patient while she adjusts) it will work out ok. It can't be easy for you either, but I think she needs you more than a professional - be consistent, loving and patient with her, let her see you enjoying her stepfather's company, and let her talk about things is she wants to and listen to her feelings. It took me a few years really to get used to my stepdad, but I love him and my dad to bits and it all worked out well in the end. Good luck!