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Is this normal for 8 year old behaviour?

(2 Posts)
Isobelbenjamin Tue 23-Jun-15 11:09:19

I have two DCs, DD 12 and DS 8. My DS has always had a strong character from day one. He is caring, loving, gentle and very intelligent.

Last year we decided to move him from his school (we were not happy with school because of expansion plans - we have not moved house) when he was at the end of Year 2, to a new school at the start of Year 3 in September.

DSL was very mature about this, accepted it with no arguments and has to tbh not complained very much at all. He has made friends which I think is brilliant seeing as he was new and friendship groups already formed from Reception. His school work has improved a little, but has not gone backwards which I am told is not unusual for year 3. He is an excellent reader, has been since year 1, he probably has the reading age of an 11year old. He is ok with maths, but his writing is messy, and irratic.

My worries are that in May the teacher called us in to say she was concerned that DS had some difficulties at school. She said that his organisational skills were a problem, and that he sometimes found it difficult to sit down and focus on getting school work done. To help him she allowed him (and a few others) to sit in a quieter area of the classroom to do his work. She also thought it was worth while having him assessed by a psychologist as she felt so of his behaviours were not choices but he couldn't help it. We told her we did not agree and we agreed with her we would try various strategies at home and school to help him, one of which we said he should not be allowed to sit away from his school peers to do school work, he should sit at the table as everyone else. I might add that this school has some mixed classes. And DS is in year3/4, he is year 3 there are some year 4s. The school are a little more 'modern' in their approach to work and they always work in pairs. These pairs are not by choice, and they have to work with every class member at some point. They also allow some of the older ones in the class to act a bit like monitors and they can perhaps point out to the younger ones behaviour that is not acceptable.
My son particularly dislikes this aspect of other kids telling him off.
We were asked to go again this morning and she said there has been some improvements, and he is definitely more sociable. But she also had concerns. As he can be quite tactile with others (?) this is not so for us at home. She listed that he hugged a boy in his class (a friend) and then got upset with himself and that he always likes to touch his girlfriend's (yes he has. Girlfiend) hair, or arm, and hugs her a lot. She also said during activ8 he does big movements that he can't seem control etc. all things she said were not as he is at home. He can control his movements. He is loving, but that is great I think and he is never violent or hits anyone or gets in to fights. She also had moved him the other day as a consequence for not doing what he was supposed to do. She said, he doesn't like where he is sat now, so I have noticed that he doesn't like change. Which is a load of rubbish, he is not bothered any more than the next child by change.

I just feel so annoyed with the teacher and school because I feel she is making something out of nothing, over em phasing every minor detail. I agree he is not keen to sit and do his work but I feel that this is not usual for this age or even for a boy. Can the school insist on the child psychologist?

Sorry for long post. Probably missed a few things out.

Trurouge Tue 23-Jun-15 11:44:03

We have just had a similar experience with my eldest (14). At primary age we moved house and as a result he moved schools, he got on really well and always had excellent reports from primary. Once he reached high school things started to slip and we initially put this down to the change and the freedom he was now given. We are now nearing the end of year 9 and it has only just come to light that the school have been increasingly concerned and arranged some tests for him. The results have shown that has dyspraxia. Once we were told about it and all the 'symtomns' it was amazing that no one picked up on it earlier. If I were you I would let them do what they need to do and if all comes back ok you know you were right and you have a fighting chance of the school no singling him out. X

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