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5 years old saying "I won't be your friend if you don't..."

(3 Posts)
Iggly Mon 22-Jun-15 09:04:13

This seems a low level issue, and it is, but has been bugging me for a while.
DS is in reception and has a couple of friends who he plays with the most. A few times he says "X says he won't be my friend if....", the " if" being if ds doesn't bring in some of his toys or if if ds doesn't play a game his way.
Ds gets quite upset when I refuse to let him take his toys in to school to give to "X". He also gets upset if we don't play a game his way. Ds seems to think his friend will only like him if ds gives something in return or is the " lesser" person.
I know that with school ds is learning to navigate friendships but I am at a bit of a loss as to how to manage it - I.e. what do I say to ds to boost his confidence?

AdventureBe Mon 22-Jun-15 09:10:28

I think this is very common among 5yos and it's your job to make sure DS understands that's not the way "nice" people or good friends behave. The "friends" will learn that too, when no-one bends to them so they have no-one to play with. Both DC are very much learning about friendships.

I always told mine, it's your toy, but if you take it to school there's every likelihood that it will get lost/stolen/broken and let them decide. They did lose a few things, then they learned...

DeeWe Mon 22-Jun-15 09:21:58

Very common among infant school age. As is "You can/can't come to my party"-often when said party is 10 months away.

I would say on the toy thing that you're not allowed to take toys to school. I would also speak to the teacher so she is aware X is saying this, so she can watch out for it.

Actually ime it's a sign of insecurity in X. X wants to see that your ds likes him enough to give him something because he's not confident in his friendships.

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