Help and reassurance please!

(3 Posts)
Limpetsmum Fri 19-Jun-15 04:51:40

My son is 3.5 years old. He has a brother 15 months younger. They've had a nanny look after them till 2years old and since 2, he has gone to nursery 1.5 days a week as well.

My son is very shy. Doesn't play with other kids, talk to others. I had noticed it was an issue and nursery confirmed that he just sits/plays with his key worker rather than play with other kids.

He's going to start prep school in September and I'm concerned he's not going to settle in/make friends.

Having reviewed why he's like this, I wonder whether it's because;
1) he has had a nanny and a lot of adult contact and attention which he enjoys and so doesn't play with other kids as much
2) his speech was delayed so I wonder whether his confidence was knocked that way
3) I spend a lot of time with him when we're out together, rather than leaving him to 'get on and play' - not because I'm over protective but because I love spending time with him and enjoy playing with him at the park, soft play etc.
4) he has a closely aged sibling who he plays with really well but as a consequence has no need to play with others as he's always with his brother (although separate rooms in nursery).

I was wondering how I can get him to play with other kids. What should I do/say etc.

I'm not concerned about autism, I just don't want him to miss out on fun. I know he loves playing with other kids when he does (eg with his cousins that he knows well) but he seems to play by himself at nursery and not do things he would love eg dress up with other kids, get involved in activities because of his shyness. I remember doing the same as a child and missing out on fun, and don't want the same for him now. I should say, both his dad and I, are very sociable people now and have no confidence issues ourselves. So I don't think it's a trait he's picked up from watching us.

Any stories of shy kids getting over it, advise on what to do, thoughts on what I've said would be appreciated. Thank you.

Atenco Fri 19-Jun-15 05:00:14

Sorry, no particular insight, OP, but every child comes with their own way of being. I can't imagine that anything you have done has made him like that and at least he has his brother.

I was always pestering my dd to play with other children because there was nothing I liked better as a child, but she was so different from me and my pestering probably made her less sociable.

Limpetsmum Fri 19-Jun-15 13:10:45

Thanks atenco. Having spoken to others about it I think I have to accept that this is him. It just breaks my heart watching him watch others having fun. I remember what it feels like as a three year old (- probably my first memory! ) and just want things to be different for him.

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