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6 year old, sleep and house move

(3 Posts)
dsmama Thu 18-Jun-15 16:27:47

Hi, I have a 6 year old boy who is going through a difficult patch. He has always been really active and creative, but also pretty confrontational. He didn't sleep through the night until he was four, but once he did it made everything easier for all of us.
I know that he is unsettled because we are moving house at the end of July, to a new city and a new school.
I think he is also going through some normal developmental changes at the same time, and he is being incredibly argumentative, rude and defiant, in a kind of constant, low-level way, and also with huge explosions. He seems to be fine at school, so it's just with DH and I. We are being as patient, firm, consistent, clear and boundried as we can manage, but sometimes I just get cross because I'm fed up with every single thing that needs to happen being a struggle. I give him lots of opportunity to talk to me about what's going on.
Does anyone have any experience of how to help a child with such a big house move at this age?
Or of confrontational 6 year olds?
Or of how much sleep he should be having? He's getting up really early every day (about 5.15am), whatever time he goes to sleep, whether it's 7.30pm or 9.30pm. I'm sure part of the problem is that he is just tired.
Any advise would be really appreciated.
Thanks x

holeinmyheart Thu 18-Jun-15 21:45:43

School is a stressful experience for a six year old. They go every day and they could get told off there or bullied a bit.
They are too young to plot as in ' how can I make my Mummy unhappy and miserable today?'
Your son is reacting to things that are going on in his life. He understand that he can't explode with his Teacher. You are his nearest and dearest and like a lot of us, it is you who he can be grumpy and awkward with.
He is too young to articulate his emotions so is reacting with raw emotion.

Please be patient with him. Treat him, how you would like to be treated, with respect. You don't need to be a pushover either but you are having one chance to give him a happy and respectful childhood. You won't get another.

His little six year old world can be frightening and if you react by losing your rag with him, what message do you think that will be giving him.
I am not suggesting that you don't have boundaries. Be firm, calm and fair.
Every time you count ten and behave well yourself means that in the future he will repay you in shedloads.
His sleep pattern sounds normal to me as each child is different.
Everything passes in the end. When he is 14 you will be begging him to wake up and get up.

TigerFeat Thu 18-Jun-15 22:00:46

My dd was 6 when we moved house. Although it was just around the corner and didn't involve a change of school etc, she was incredibly anxious about it so I can relate to what you're going through.

I think what helped was letting her have as much control as possible with the move. She packed her own boxes (well, she thought she did). I gave her a big marker pen and she scribbled on labelled them all too. We got some books about moving out of the library. I cant remember which ones now, but these look good

Has he seen the house, school and area you are moving to? Can you arrange a visit where he can look around. Maybe take him to an amazing park or something that will be near where you will live. Google Earth might be a good idea too. Dd still gets a bit anxious travelling anywhere new and it helps to 'show' her first on streetview.

Make sure he understands that his current relationships will be maintained too. Can he swap addresses, emails, phone numbers with his friends? Or set up Skype and let his start practicing chatting to his friends that way.

Good luck with the move. If it's any consolation, dd can hardly remember our old house now and definitely doesn't remember her anxiety about moving.

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