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14mo very unhappy in groups

(5 Posts)
LowlLowl Wed 17-Jun-15 07:42:42

Hello, just looking for some advice or reassurance! My DS is 14 months. I went back to work when he was 11 mo and he's been getting on really well at the childminder. He sometimes cries when we leave him but settles quickly. In groups he's always been a bit wary to begin with - he likes to watch for a while until he feels comfortable but then he's been alright. However, for the last month he's been really unhappy about groups (whether it's me or the childminder who takes him). He either screams and cries and won't settle at all, or you can only get him to be settled if he's clinging to you and he won't go and play more than 2cm away from you. I'm worried that he's going to develop into a sociopath! If I invite people with children to our house he is just about ok (a bit subdued) but anywhere else is a nightmare at the moment. Is this just a phase?

ppeatfruit Wed 17-Jun-15 11:55:58

I would say that he's going through the normal 'attachment' stage a little later than average. I suggest you and CM (who would know about it) let him cling and then it will pass naturally.

acattocatchat Wed 17-Jun-15 21:37:53

I second ppeatfruit. I kept my daughter away from groups as much as possible when she went through this stage, because they obviously made her miserable, and I was sure it would pass. If we had to go to groups (because I help run some) then I'd just hold her. It took a couple of months for her to regain her confidence but now she's great, though stays close to me at very busy groups.

LowlLowl Fri 19-Jun-15 15:11:51

Thanks for the reassurance! CM had a small breakthrough by taking teddy to the group too... Which does make me wonder where teddy had been the rest of the time, but hey ho! We'll persevere. DH is a huge introvert so it may just be genetic.... grin

ppeatfruit Fri 19-Jun-15 15:24:14

Yes you could be right of course, dcs are all different like adults! But still best to go with it, you never know he might surprise you later grin.

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