DD2 is 2 months old and EBF, I've been trying to give DD1 (3 y.o) plenty of attention, positive reinforcement, reward charts and make a point to do an activity with her during baby's long nap but every now and then, without warning she'll pull baby's head away when I'm nursing, despite the fact that I've explained what I'm doing and that baby is having milk. I talk to her whilst feeding, sometimes we have a cuddle and a story, I'm at my wits' end. Today I tried to physically block her but she managed to lunge in and do it so quickly that she's scratched baby's head. And then she says "baby's crying" whilst looking concerned. I need help, I don't want to give up BF.
Hope you're doing ok OP I have similar problem with 2yo DS and 7wk old DD. Though DS hasn't been quite that aggressive yet but he does get very up close and personal and sometimes says "baby off!" Etc
I've given him a very firm No and made it clear I'll get v angry. I also then try to distract immediately with Why don't you bring me a story to read, or Where's your stamps etc. Worst case scenario let him go on iPad till I've finished feeding and can give him some attention again.
My dd was 2 when ds arrived and the only thing that I found that helped when she did this was to completely ignore her, make a HUGE. protracted fuss of the baby 'poor ds, your sister knows how to be gentle and kind though she sometimes forgets' etc etc.
And repeat ad infinitum.
Very quickly, I saw her go to hit him and then stop herself because she realised all that she was going to do was ensure that he got extra attention.
Felt a bit phoney and unempathic to dd, but it was honestly the only thing I did that made a difference.
Also spent lots of time empathising with what a pita the baby could be etc, but sometimes behaviourism just works!
I've a smaller gap but alternate between giving the older one jobs that get us ready for the next thing eg fetch my shoes, you coat etc and spent a lot of time teaching gentle and shh so gentle pat of baby's head equals kiss hug back from baby, shh while she is sleeping and we can go play somethin else etc.