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23 month old just wants Daddy

(16 Posts)
Clarabell78 Sun 14-Jun-15 01:16:06

My ds will turn 2 in 2 weeks. I'm struggling with the fact that if dh is around I don't get a look in! He has lots of words now but he NEVER says Mummy but says Daddy all the time. If Daddy is around then he only wants to spend time with him not me. If DH tries to pass him to me he will cling onto him for dear life and try to get away from me. He has never been a particularly cuddly child but is super affectionate with DH. I spend a good bit more time with him as I only work 3 days to DH's minimum 5. He is a doctor and works shifts so sometimes only sees DS either mornings or evening due to his shifts. He always gives preference to DH if he is around. I'm trying very hard not to show him that I'm finding it a little upsetting but can't help but feel a little jealous at times and even a bit wistful that he doesn't idolize me the way he does DH. Just wanted to hear if anyone else has experienced this and wondered if it changed with time? My DSis has two boys both of which absolutely idolize her and its makes me feel a tiny bit jealous watching the way her two boys interact with her compared to how my little one really doesn't seem to be too bothered one way or the other in my presence. I completely appreciate this is my issue as he is a healthy, independent, lively and funny little boy who is full of character smile Many thanks in advance for all your opinions/views.

madmother1 Sun 14-Jun-15 01:34:14

Many years ago, I had to go into hospital for a week when my son was 1 year old. From that day on he adored his Dad. It got to the point that he wanted him when he fell over etc and not me. Wind on 17 years and we are very close. In fact more so than with his Dad. Just go along with it. Little boys like to have their Dad to identify with. Ensure you still carry on taking it on turns putting him to bed and spending time with him equally. It will pass. Don't take it personally xx

Clarabell78 Sun 14-Jun-15 01:56:27

Thanks so much for your reassurance. The logical part of me feels ridiculous for being perturbed by it but my emotional/mummy side of me is thinking this is not how I pictured being a mummy! Being the one who carried him, breastfed him, spent a year on mat leave with him, weaned him, makes all his food for him, buys all his toys and clothes for him I figured I'd be the favourite. I do understand that at his age he has no appreciation of all this but it doesn't make it any easier to be logical! smile The fact that I do have a bit of a self esteem issue doesn't help at all smile

Clarabell78 Sun 14-Jun-15 01:58:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clarabell78 Sun 14-Jun-15 01:58:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clarabell78 Sun 14-Jun-15 01:59:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clarabell78 Sun 14-Jun-15 01:59:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clarabell78 Sun 14-Jun-15 02:15:15

I have no idea why that posted so many times! confused

whatdowedowithabouncingbaby Sun 14-Jun-15 02:25:17

my DH is a sahp. my ds is 2.3. when I'm on holiday my DH doesn't get a look in. purely down to the fact that he never sees me. it was the opposite when I was sahp and DH was working ft. Dont take it personally x

madmother1 Sun 14-Jun-15 02:48:23

Just to add. My son used to attend nursery a couple of times a week and if it was me picking him up he'd cry and say he wanted his Daddy. It broke my heart at the time but he says he doesn't remember it! He is a lovely, cuddly DS who looks after his Mum now he's grown up. So don't worry x

IBelieveInPink Sun 14-Jun-15 04:07:14

My dd (19 months) is exactly like this. I'm currently 36 wks pg, so trying to see that this will be an advantage when baby arrives, but I totally agree with you, it hurts! No matter how logical you can be about it, there will always be moments when it stings a bit.

Just wanted you to know it's not just you smile

Vijac Sun 14-Jun-15 21:14:19

I think it's a stage. If you keep doing what your doing and don't overreact then it will come back round to you!

fassbender Sun 14-Jun-15 21:23:28

Yep, exactly the same thing happened with me and it was even worse when DD came along when DS was 2;4! I think DS saw me giving attention to the baby (BFing etc) so focused his attention on his Dad. I just kept giving him attention as normal, even though I did feel hurt and jealous. DS is now 7 years old and still loves playing with his Dad but I also get loads of cuddles and bedtime chats. He's definitely getting more cuddly as he gets older. Hang on in there!

Clarabell78 Mon 15-Jun-15 17:18:10

Thanks so much everyone i really do feel much better about it! Xxxx

LostMySocks Tue 16-Jun-15 18:56:03

It's a phase. My DS is just the same. But usually because DH is around less so does less of the routine stuff. When the chips are down, like when he was sick in the night he wanted me to cuddle him after he was all cleaned up

FoxyJane Tue 16-Jun-15 19:02:02

My eldest three were very clingy to me. My fourth ds now 32 months is very much a daddy's boy, it's hard he really doesn't want me. Dh works away he's away. He's away again until September and ds is crying all the time and shouting for daddy. He will come around to me just as dh is returning home and then I will be rejected again. I really hope this is a phase, it's pretty tough.

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