Ds (7) and anxiety (school related)

[SophieHatters]

Ds2 is nearly 8. He is very anxious and has always been, I think.

He internalises a lot and doesn't like to tell people what he is thinking or feeling.
He has some habits, sort of tics, and also doesn't cope very well with a change to his routines at home - he doesn't have a meltdown or get angry much but he will just find it hard to change what he does.

He's being assessed for ASD at the moment.

This morning he said that every morning, at school, he feels like he's going to be sick, when all the children are being noisy and the teacher says everyone must be silent and do their work.

I'm not sure what it is that upsets him but I do remember this awful feeling from my own childhood in school.

I gave him a hug for ages and told him I understand and that it will pass if he just waits a few minutes.

I don't know what else to do - he is extremely clever and academic, very compliant, does very well at school. I want to support him to be able to stay but am worried that they won't be able to help much, and I don't want to end up HEing him (again - we did it for a year in Y1/2) as I don't feel I can offer very much at home.

Has anyone got any suggestions?

[Andro]

Talk to his class teacher, maybe there is a job s/he could give him so that by the time he comes into the classroom everyone is settled and teaching is ready to start.

Get in touch with the senco, make them aware that your son's anxiety is building and seek their input.

Does your DS have any suggestions about what would make school easier, advance warning of upcoming changes to ease transitions/ear defenders to deal with noise/etc?

[LtGreggs]

Hi - My 6yo DS has recently had anxiety problems at school.

In his case, it's definitely not ASD related, but was kicked off following a scary incident that happened outside school (he choked on a piece of food - total accident, ended fine, but terrified at the time). This then seemed to get him over-anxious about things that he'd previously coped with fine. So somewhat different to your case.

I found the following helpful: www.anxietybc.com/parenting/talking-your-child-or-teen-about-anxiety

Definitely talk to the teacher.

Lots of reassurance that it's fine/normal to feel anxious - it's your response to anxiety that you can work on.

[SophieHatters]

Thank you both very much. I will talk to the teacher if I get the chance, also will talk some more to ds to try and establish whether there is anything that I can do to help him feel calmer.

It was at his age that my anxiety really kicked off and I don't want him to go down the same path.