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'I have better toys at home!' Mortified by this announcement on playdate from my DD...

(22 Posts)
DuchessOfWeaseltown Fri 29-May-15 13:23:50

... she's 2.3 if that makes any difference...?

Am I overreacting to be embarrassed? Obviously if she was 4 or 5 and saying this, it'd be very clear to me that it's utteraly unacceptable, but at this age I don't think she really knows what that sort of thing sounds like...? Also she's quite inexperienced at playdates, poor mite, for various reasons she hasn't done many of them and she's not at nursery or anything yet so her social skills are, shall we say, in development...

I've told her, in a quiet moment later, that it wasn't kind to say this and that her friend was being very nice to let her play with her toys. And suggested that she 'didn't really mean it", and what she probably meant to say was that she'd like her friend to come and play with her toys at our house some time...

She was a bit wobbly lower lip, but obviously I don't know what if anything about the message has really got through to her.

Any tips for what to say if she does it again? And/or am I being silly to be so mortified by it?

TheBakeryQueen Fri 29-May-15 13:33:06

She sounds very articulate for her age. But yes, way too young to worry about this type of thing. I think there was no harm in pointing out it might be hurtful though.

Does she have better toys at home? grin

Marioswife Fri 29-May-15 13:34:35

She is just saying what she feels is true. Her toys probably mean more to her.

Children have no sense of others feelings, they just say what they feel. I'm afraid it's something you need to harden yourself to as your child will also at some point point and say "That person is fat", "is that a man or a lady", "i don't like her hair mum!" and so on.

TheBakeryQueen Fri 29-May-15 13:35:18

Even at 4/5 they very often state what they think loudly & embarrass you. I think it takes them a while to learn that we don't always have to share our thoughts!

Springtimemama Fri 29-May-15 13:35:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TakeMeUpNorthMountain Fri 29-May-15 13:37:27

That's hilarious!! Please don't be mortified, she's only two!! Long way to go yet grin

DuchessOfWeaseltown Fri 29-May-15 13:37:52

BakeryQueen, yes she is very articulate... it's the source of the issue I think as she is very advanced verbally but obviously she's still only 2.3 in terms of emotional maturity, and she doesn't know how the world works!!

She has far too many great toys at home, the lucky little thing, but actually the other little girl she was playing with had some fab toys too!! Not that it would have made any difference if she'd only had wooden spoons to play with...

OK so it sounds like I am unfair and silly to be quite so embarrassed by it... Marioswife will have to harden myself to more dreadful pronoucements I guess... maybe nursery/more social interaction with other children and other adults too helps all this sort of stuff? she is starting in september...

DuchessOfWeaseltown Fri 29-May-15 13:39:22

Whew, OK, I can stop beating myself up for being a terrible permissive parent (for now) at least!!

Glad to hear it's normal and that I'm not accidentally raising Mariah Carey or something...

pilates Fri 29-May-15 13:41:00

Normal, but correct for you to advise her that it wasn't a kind thing to say.

SurelyNotEh Fri 29-May-15 13:44:12

If a child of that age came to my house and said that, I'd think it was hilarious! And I'd just say in a friendly way that it's polite not to say that sort of thing. Then I'd catch your eye and PMSL grin

Viviennemary Fri 29-May-15 13:45:35

I was ready to say she should have had better manners. But at 2.3 just laugh it off. Even if taken seriously a child of that age will have favourite toys and these to her are better than someone else's.

fiftyshadesofgrot Fri 29-May-15 13:51:26

No need to mortified - plenty more where that came from! This sounds like something my DD and her friends would say now at age 5.5. My DS age 2.7 couldn't even say those words in a sentence, so I would be impressed rather than mortified if he said this. BTW; my friends DS did stood up in the middle of starbucks, pointed and shouted 'Mummy look at fat man'. . .Now that would be a reason to be mortified.

DuchessOfWeaseltown Fri 29-May-15 13:56:22

Thanks everyone... Will just have to avoid any and all 'fat men' and/or people with 'weird hair' for the next 3 or 4 years, then...

Eminado Fri 29-May-15 14:01:02

You sound like a lovely sensitive mum -- like me-- grin

Steel yourself my dear!

LynetteScavo Fri 29-May-15 14:03:34

Oh, the things my DC have come out with on play dates would horrify you!

"I had enough I'm going home now."

"The garden is very small" (our garden was far smaller, but we'd been looking at houses to buy).

And thankfully not till we got home...."They only have one loo- can you imagine that, Dad?" Funnily enough DH could. grin

SabrinnaOfDystopia Fri 29-May-15 14:15:31

My friend had a girl say to her on a playdate "I think this must be the teeniest house I've ever seen!" and she was much older than 2 grin

Lndnmummy Fri 29-May-15 20:06:13

Ha ha, my son's friends once said "why dont you have any toys?" As the 3 boxes of trains was clearly alot less than he was used to. We live in a small flat so I just rotate toys regularly and store the rest in the loft as we simply do not have alot of room. It is funny, just laugh. They will say alot of things in the months to come, we have just hit a "you are not my best friend anymore". It broke my heart when I heard a little boy say that to ds at nursery. Kids speak how they see it, the "socilasation" will come.

Lndnmummy Fri 29-May-15 20:08:14

Sabrinna that is so funny

defineme Fri 29-May-15 20:16:17

Then 4 yr old ds2 ran into my friend's conservatory and announced 'it's a right mess in here' he also told another friend 'i think you are too fat for that swing' both were factually correct statements, but not the kindest! He is 10 now and a beautifully polite boy.

Mrsfrumble Fri 29-May-15 20:46:34

When DS was that age he told a play date hostess that the lunchtime bolognaisse she's just served him "disgusting". Fortunately she roared with laughter!

That was 2 years ago and even now I would be surprised or offended if one of his friends came out with something similar. Manners are important but they are not learned in a day!

DeeWe Sat 30-May-15 12:04:09

We had friens who were very strict with how their dc spoke to adults. We couldn't stop laughing one meal when their 2yo came out with "Excuse me Mr and Mrs DeeWe, but this meal is absolutely disgusting" grin

He'd obviously been sitting there mulling over how to express he didn't like it in the politest way. It was said in the loveliest voice too. grin

Marioswife Sat 30-May-15 15:27:03


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