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I'm being tortured by my 4 year old dd.

(30 Posts)
TeddyBear5 Mon 25-May-15 15:52:51

She never stops talking, complaining, whining, crying, shouting, asking questions, narrating her whole life.

I'll say now that I'm a childminder and have 4 children of my own so not unused to child noise. But this is a whole different level. I'm actually losing the ability to think straight and concentrate on anything else.

She certainly knows how to control herself. In other settings she adjusts her behaviour to suit so I've no worries about underlying issues. She was a 'high needs' baby and I had another child very soon after her so I've always put it down to that and assumed she'd outgrow being so loud!

Will she grow out of it or is this just her personality?
She's very bossy and is a terrible loser, any tips?
How do we calm her down in general? She's my only girl and all the boys are very calm and placid. I don't wish to gender stereotype but are girls generally louder? I haven't felt this is especially true from my childminding.

Everything is a trauma. She banged her knee on the table earlier and from the screaming coming from her you'd have though she'd been stabbed!

On the flip side she's very charming! I always have people telling me how lovely and charming and endearing she is. Has a lovely smile and sweet words and lots of friends and children who flock to her. She has friends who argue over sitting next to her (opposite of home!). We're just all so weary from the volume and dramatics. Help!

Crazyqueenofthecatladies Mon 25-May-15 19:55:44

Sounds just like my son. He'll be six in August and I'm still waiting for a pause in his almost five year monologue. He's wonderful in every way but the talking. Oh dear god the talking...

TeddyBear5 Mon 25-May-15 21:47:29

Oh I was really hoping you'd come along with a tale of your DS reaching his fifth birthday and suddenly mellowing.... grin

Crazyqueenofthecatladies Mon 25-May-15 23:27:57

Maybe someone will come on in a mo with a report of a now taciturn seven year old. Oh please...

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes Mon 25-May-15 23:35:22

OMG I have a 4yr old DS the same from the moment he wakes up until goes to bed. Honestly some days I think my head will explode, complete opposite to his sister

BrowneSugar Mon 25-May-15 23:40:00

Stop talking about MY 3y old!!!

TensionWheelsCoolHeels Mon 25-May-15 23:49:09

My 10 yr old was like this. She had no filter whatsoever. She's hit the 'I'm boooooorrrrrreeed' stage now, which generally means lots of sighs & throwing herself about in a dramatic fashion, lots of slammed doors etc. the talking had diminished somewhat, but I'm not sure this stage is an improvement at all grin

MiaowTheCat Tue 26-May-15 11:43:14

Sounds like DD1 who even carries on with it in her bloody sleep.

My mum thinks its hilarious because apparently I was exactly the same!

Her poor sister (11 months younger) doesn't talk much at all because she can't get a word in edgeways!!!

UnspecialSnowflake Tue 26-May-15 11:52:19

I'm afraid I often resort to "stop wittering or you won't get a comic/go to the park/watch Horrible Histories". She narrates (often via the medium of freeform song) she tells "jokes", she asks pointless questions "what would you do if you saw a shrew in the loo" was a popular question for a while, she has an opinion on everything. It's wearing after a while, but I do think it's also cosmic karma as I know I was just the same.

lexyloub Tue 26-May-15 11:57:00

Ahhh yes my dcs also make my ears bleed too sad

Stillyummy Tue 26-May-15 12:03:23

I'm late 20's... My mum is probably still hoping it is a phase!

Jellified Tue 26-May-15 12:19:58

15 grin(ds). I don't think he'll change.

Jellified Tue 26-May-15 12:21:13

Unspecialsnoflake my dd is like this too.

Penfoldrocks1 Tue 26-May-15 16:49:49

Wow that sounds just like my 4 years old son. He doesn't seem to have an off switch either and talks a lot! confused He's always been active and sociable sometime too social as he wants to talk to everyone! I'm sure it's just a personality thing.

TonarinoNeko1 Tue 26-May-15 16:51:29

This could have been described my DD at 4yo as well. Your DD's apparent self awareness and popularity among her peers don't seem to indicate an underlying problem - she's just a little personality! Starting Reception last September seems to have had a mellowing effect my DD, but at home she can be pretty relentless with occasional bouts of whingeing, nagging, bad jokes.. Have you heard of a storybook called 'Bella's Big Shouting Day' by Rebecca Patterson'? It contains some great observational humour about a little girls huffs and dramas starting with "I woke up and (baby brother) Bob was licking my jewellry!" and the day deteriorates from there. I laughed in recognition at the picture of frazzled mum avoiding the judgemental stares of strangers in the supermarket. Anyway my point is.. when I read this to DD she understood better how some of this behaviour could affect others and I sometimes call her 'Bella....' when I think she's about to go off on one. It seems to have a positive effect.

Shetland Tue 26-May-15 17:00:48

Just ordered that book - thanks tonarino smile
The 'free form song' commentary on life is a prominent part of my life at the moment - often quite funny but the sheer relentlessness certainly grates, I'm on the count down to bed time by about lunchtime most days.

TonarinoNeko1 Tue 26-May-15 17:16:56

Enjoy the book, it really is funny (all it lacks is a picture of mum on the sofa with a big glass of red after bedtime!) . Free form song..my DD does the same too, it would be funny if it wasn't so irritating at times (tbh my DH finds it more wearing!). Have you considered a drama session for your DD as an activity? As my DD can be a 'drama queen' I thought proper drama would be a good outlet for all this (ahem) 'creative expression'! DD's once a week 45 minute group is the highlight of her week and also gives her more ideas for creative play at school, can definitely recommend for more expressive kids!

Shetland Tue 26-May-15 17:20:15

I have looked into drama classes but I am a little worried I have a diva in the making and I'm not sure if I want go there ;)

wiltingfast Thu 28-May-15 22:25:33

My 4yo is like this too, wants me to look at her too, I resort to "o my god I can't look at you all the time dd!"and " fgs just give me 2 minutes." Etc blush

Honestly tho, she follow me round the house talking at me, it's withering...

If I really want it to stop I put on Dora blush

BeCool Thu 28-May-15 22:35:16

Sounds a lot like my 4yo dd.

We played at the park all afternoon. Later in the bath dd discovered a tiny bruise on her knee she hadn't noticed before. at which point she collapsed in pain, couldn't walk or stand, cried and screamed, couldn't get out of bath etc - oh the hysterics.

We've been here before. grin

She is also very loud. From the day she was born she has Always been very loud.

When she cries think Lucy from Charlie Brown.

This too shall pass <repeat repeat>

StrawberrytallCake Thu 28-May-15 22:37:48

I have two of them!!!

I can't think straight from 7am to 7pm.

longdiling Thu 28-May-15 22:52:14

Ah yes, this is familiar with me too - a childminder with three kids of my own. My 4 year old (nearly 5) is just a huge personality. She is a delight and a nightmare in equal measure. She is also very engaging and people take to her a lot but my God do I find her exhausting. She wants my attention CONSTANTLY. I also feel I struggle to concentrate at all when she's around. I will say she's mellowed since starting school in September. She isn't quite so extreme and we have a lot less tantrums.

Twistedheartache Thu 28-May-15 22:56:18

Yes I've got one of these too - even talks in her sleep!
Dd2 has hearing loss so speech is likely to be a struggle for her so need to channel the wittering energy into teaching her sis!

Poffleski Thu 28-May-15 23:01:06

This is nice to trady. I've been feeling like this with 4yo DD. Always been on the go but has gone to the next level of drama recently. It's driving me mad. She doesn't stop talking, one minute it's whining and screaming and then being delightful and charming. All the while not a moment of silence.
On the plus side in comparison it makes the 1 year old look like easy work!

I've put it down to the upcoming start of school. They're on the cusp of a lot of new things and yet still babies. I'm holding out for September and maybe some improvement with a new routine and environment.
I bet I'll be back 1st week of term moaning though.

Good Luck everyone! We are not alone

Butterflywings168 Fri 29-May-15 03:12:51

Oh and you are really not being 'tortured' by a tiny child, get a fucking grip.

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