My baby girl is too keen for food

[olymbus]

Hi Moms,

I'm really concern about my baby girl she is 9 months old, and she's late for development of big movement compare with alot of my friends' babies. eg she can only roll from tommy to back when she is 7 months+. I know every individual has different pace of development, but I'm worry about my baby she seems like more interested with food instead of toys, every time I train her to craw, I need to tempt her with a piece of cracker, or any kind of food. She's not willing to craw to reach toys, and she cannot craw yet. She will be happy if offered food, is that because she's hungry?

Also when she get bored, she will just cry and annoyed, she will cry when she can't get the toy but she won't risk a lot to reach it, she will still try for several times, but she will give up quickly and wants your help.

Doctor wouldn't say anything wrong with my baby, because she eats and sleeps well. I want to train her to craw, any one can have any suggestion? I would like to say she has no instinct to craw yet.

Thanks!

[Stinkersmum]

You don't train babies to crawl. They do it when they're ready.

[olymbus]

Thanks, so if she cries for she can't reach the toy, should I help her? Because I don't want to cut the opportunity for her to get it by herself, so she will have chance to explore?

[SewingAndCakes]

If you're really concerned then can you see your health visitor, or a different GP? I don't think you need to be concerned though; babies reach milestones like crawling when they're ready, and she obviously isn't ready to crawl yet.

You can't train a baby, just support them in their development.

[olymbus]

i feel guilty to compare my baby with others, also I feel guilty to let her crying if I insist her to crawl ( I can see she's trying really hard and her arms has not enough strength yet to support pushing up, and I can tell she suffers), so maybe more tommy time will be good enough?

[olymbus]

also she's bit lazy, she doesn't want to pushing herself too hard, she always cry for cuddle and just because she's bored.

[pookamoo]

Tummy time will be good enough, yes.

She will do it when she's ready - you just can't teach them. You can't teach them to walk, either!

[pookamoo]

I don't want to sound rude, OP, but 9 month old babies aren't really lazy, they do just need cuddles.

If she's bored, do you let her have a toy to play with?

[Coyoacan]

My dd didn't crawl until she was ten months old and my dgd didn't crawl until after she had learnt to walk.

[olymbus]

When I say "lazy" i mean she's not as active as other babies, and she looks bit scared if she know she will fall or she can't reach something so that prevents her to explore.

She can play a toy, but she will get bored soon, she's more interested in snacks, or just cuddle. But moms, I know everyone is busy, we have to prepare for food, go for shopping, no one can focus on your baby for 24/7...

[SewingAndCakes]

If she's crying and you're feeling guilty, then pick her up and comfort her. You won't spoil her with too many cuddles. Do you have anyone around who can support you with your baby? Are there baby groups you could attend; it does help to see other parents and their babies.

[olymbus]

my mother in law will spoil her more than I do, so, I prefer to take care by my own.

[NerrSnerr]

My baby is nearly 9 months and isn't crawling and it seems normal from the baby groups I go to. She is the same, will reach for the toy and cry if she can't get it so I pass her the toy. I really font think you can train a baby to crawl, she'll do it when ready.

[pookamoo]

I agree with sewingandcakes [great name, my two favourite things!]
You won't spoil her with cuddles.

When you say "my mother in law will spoil her more than i do" what do you mean by "spoil" ?

[Fluffycloudland77]

I never crawled, I went from bottom shuffling to walking instead.

I think putting her down to crawl and her being uncomfortable is a bit uncalled for. They do it when their ready and not before.

It must be very confusing for her to have you put her in that position.

She's growing incredibly quickly, of course she's hungry all the time. We would be too.

[olymbus]

Thank all, by all means I just don't want to spoil my baby too much and want encourage her to do more by herself.

[NerrSnerr]

She's 9 months old! You will not spoil her too much by giving her cuddles when she's sad. She's too young to understand what you're trying to get her to do. Do you go to baby groups or anything with other parents and babies?

[olymbus]

i define "spoil" like gives everything upon her crying, eg, she will cry even you leave her playing with toys for just 10mins, my in law will do nothing(not even meet ppl or shopping) but just staying at home to look after my baby, she can take good care, but I think this is not mentally healthy. Anyone agree? Babies love faces, they would like to see ppl, or just other babies.

[tiktok]

It'll help you to go to baby groups and see what other babies are doing, olymbus. You don't need to train a baby to crawl, or walk....they do it by themselves if given the opprtunity.

Very few babies of 9 months old can play by themselves with toys for more than a couple of minutes - it's expecting a lot to think she can do this for 10 minutes.

She sounds absolutely normal, and it's also normal for you to be concerned about her, but in this case, it really sounds like you don't need to be :)

[olymbus]

well, taking care of baby is particularly stressing which requires a lot of mental and physical strength, so Moms, you need to be tough sometimes, I feel like my baby knows how to control me using her cry...don't know how to do now

[SewingAndCakes]

She's communicating in the only way possible to her though; she's not manipulating you. As she gets older you can be firm with her but at this age it's all she is able to do.

There's no need to stay at home though; babies can and should go out, see new and familiar faces, experience different environments. I found with mine that they were much happier when we'd been out for the day than when I stayed in with them.

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

Of course babies control their mums using their cry! It's how they get their mum to meet their needs. If you baby needs a cuddle that's just as important a need as food or changing so don't ignore it. You can't train her to crawl, she's not lazy, she's not manipulating you, your attitudes to your baby are very odd and a bit worrying.
I know that small babies are exhausting but you seem to be attributing negative intentions to her. Have you ever been assessed for or suspected you might have post natal depression?

[Marcipex]

She's not trying to control you when she cries, she just wants your company. You are her world. She needs to see, hear, smell, touch you for reassurance.

She isnt late crawling, she is normal. She'll walk when she's ready, too. You can't teach her, she'll just do it.

[olymbus]

I totally agree that baby needs to go out, thanks SewingAndCakes! The environment will distract her from this exclusive intimacy.

[SewingAndCakes]

It's also really important for you as a mum too; it is hard and demanding looking after a baby 24/7, and if you don't have any adult company it's easy to become down and isolated, I did.

Do you have friends nearby?

[JasperDamerel]

She's a baby. Intimacy is what she needs right now. When she is older she will want to do things by herself but right now she needs a small number of people who love her and meet her every need: for food, for cuddles, for attention.

The trick is finding a way to make sure that your needs are being met, too. You sound unhappy. What is it that your baby's needs are stopping you from doing? Is there a way where you can do those things AND let your baby have a cuddles and attention she wants? Maybe with your MiL's help?