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I lost my temper and just feel dreadful

(15 Posts)
NAvenue76 Thu 14-May-15 12:49:16

My two yr old completely lost it because she had to come off the bob the builder machine in sainsburys. I needed to get home and we only had her trike as her dad had accidentally got her push chair. Anyway she would not come, kept rolling around on the floor. In the end I grabbed her to come and had to hold her underneath my arm (safely) while crossing the road. I'm so ashamed but I was shouting at her and she kept having more tantrums and I was grabbing her to try and shake her out of it. My back keeps seizing up so its not that easy to carry her. And people kept looking at me and prob thought I was the worst parent in the world. I just feel awful. I wish I could be calmer. I dote on my daughter and love her to bits. It was tipping down with rain by the way

Her dad says she doesn't do it with him which makes me feel worse. Thanks for listening.

LetThereBeCupcakes Thu 14-May-15 13:31:09

We all have days like that. Please don't be too hard on yourself! I think children tend to lash out more at people they are close to (that's why they're always so good for grandparents!) so if you are her primary carer, that's probably why she doesn't do it for him.

Toddlers are hard work, my son is 2 so I know exactly how you feel! Do you have friends with similar aged children that you can go and let off steam with? I do this and it really helps. We all support each other and have a good laugh.

Give your DD a big kiss and a cuddle and snuggle up with some books or something.


Sending you a 'fist bump been there sister' message.
Don't feel too bad. We are all human and have our limits and as long as we are nice to our children most of the time then the odd rollocking is definitely excusable.
Public tantrums are awful and somehow 100 times less manageable than home ones. At least with home ones you can leave the room and eat chocolate and wait for them to calm down. Try doing that in Tescos people really frown upon it for some reason.
Put it behind you and break open the dairy milk no one is perfect x

Branleuse Thu 14-May-15 13:36:13

eugh, that sounds really stressful. You did what you had to do to get home. I would forget it as quickly as possible with a glass of wine cup of tea

princessvikki Thu 14-May-15 13:38:23

Don't worry! It doesn't make you a bad mum, we all have times where we just want to shake the little devilssmile it doesn't mean you love your dd any less. It's definalty true they are naughty for the main carer, my dd is 17 months and has already started the terrible twos, she good as gold for anybody else but on a bad day I get thumped regularly.
I think you did the right thing picking her up and taking her away, it sounds harsh but she has to do as you say weather she likes it or not. And it's much better she learns now or you'll have your own mini dictator ruling your house.

odyssey2001 Thu 14-May-15 13:43:56

Don't beat yourself up. I consider myself to be a good parent and I have had my fair share of these moments, especially during the terrible twos and threenage phase. Life is a lot better now he is four.

One of my finest parenting moments was the other day in the car. I was trying to explain that he shouldn't mention something to someone because it might hurt their feelings. He piped up "Are you sick of hearing it?". This is obviously something I have said to him recently and he parroted back! I felt like an awful parent but as long as your relationship isn't defined by these moments then just move on.

We learned never too be in a rush for anything when he was going through this phase.

Racheyg Thu 14-May-15 22:04:05

Op I'm right with you. Similar thing happened to me on Friday with my ds who is 21 months. I am 38 weeks and huge so slso carried my son under my arms (safely) to stop him kicking and head butting me.

You are normal and please don't beat yourself up. I cried as I was so upset but when I spoke to my sil she told me we all go through it at some point with our children.

You are not alone xx

backtowork2015 Tue 19-May-15 13:44:37

sounds eerily familiar. glad it's not just me grin

ladyflower23 Tue 19-May-15 22:35:43

Totally normal. Has happened to me many a time. Always feel guilty if I shout but think it's impossible to get through the toddler years without losing it sometimes. Oddessey glad to hear it gets better at 4. my ds is 3.5 years. only 6 months to go ��

thatsn0tmyname Tue 19-May-15 22:37:24

Been there, done that. Please don't feel too bad,you're only human.

pictish Tue 19-May-15 22:37:55

Yes I've been there too. xx

JustOneMoreSliceOfCake Tue 19-May-15 23:34:01

Been there, ds is wonderfully high spirited absolute menace to society and has had mastered the art of screaming that is actually quite painful to the ears grin
He's gorgeous though and it doesn't mean I don't adore him even when we've had a shitty day.
Don't be so hard on yourself, there will be plenty of bad days and plenty of wonderful ones too which make it all so worth it. I find they get easier around 4. Dd is 6 now and she's an absolute dream most of the time.. still got the teenage stage to come yet though!

AlpacaMyBags Tue 19-May-15 23:39:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleLionMansMummy Wed 20-May-15 13:31:02

You're human. Deep breath, go and give her a big bundle of kisses and cuddles. Tomorrow is another day! She's probably forgotten about it already. Don't make a habit of it and there will be no lasting damage smile

NickyEds Wed 20-May-15 13:47:02

Yesterday my ds pushed me just about as far as I could gosad. He's only 17 months so of course didn't mean to but I'm 32 weeks pregnant and not feeling great. He whined and moaned all day, nothing was good enough, lunch was thrown at me, he learned to pull my hair, several screaming fits...I could go on. His dad just walked in the door when ds lunged himself backwards into my face and really smacked my nose. I just burst into tears and shouted "get him away from me"sad. I feel very guilty. I've never shouted at him like that and it made him cry. It's hard and we're only human but I'm disappointed in myself.

Don't worry about the Daddy thing- I reckon they're all different with Daddy!

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