DS really testing us

(5 Posts)
jugglingmonkey Sat 09-May-15 12:23:31

DS is almost 18 months, and a very spirited little boy. By that I mean he is into everything (except his toys), he's extremely busy, knows how to throw a tantrum, and is plain exhausting. In the same breath, he is funny, affectionate, and very engaging. I know this must sound like millions of other toddlers.

Today is the first time I have heard DH snap at him, and it really upset me. I always try to take deep breath and walk away, or move on. But hearing DH snap at DS as if he were a much older child has really got to me.

Don't get me wrong, I can see why DH was cross (DS was smashing a glass door with the broom). But how can we get through the next year or so of this though without snapping at DS or each other?

I think part of the problem is that DS doesn't play well on his own and needs constant stimulus and/or attention. DH and I both play fairly well with him, for a time, but we can't do it all day and DS is increasingly whiny if he's not getting his own way.

Again, I'm sure this is really common but I've had a bit of a cry today over it. I feel racked with guilt that my DS is bored, or unhappy so much of the time. He can be a very smiley and happy, engaging child but at the moment we're seeing more of his worse side.

Can anyone offer advice? Of reassurance that it will pass? Any good parenting books on raising feisty young men like mine?

Thanks in advance

HoggleHoggle Sat 09-May-15 12:39:43

I am having exactly the same problem. What's worked for us is having quite a structured day. So morning before the midday nap we go out the house to do something quite involved - so movement group or playgroup etc. basically something where ds gets tired out but the onus is off me to amuse him 1-1. Then lunch and nap. Afterwards we go out again, swimming or friends meet up or baby gym. Earlier this week I literally took him to a field and let him run about (like a dog blush).

You might be trying these things anyway but basically I just can't underestimate how much physical exercise my ds needs. He's also not into toys at all so I've just changed the way I try to amuse him as he's not capable of much concentration yet. He's almost 17 months. When we are at home I do stuff like dance with him, and try the odd bit of craft.

One toy that he WILL play with for a fair old while is a tea set. Not sure if is worth giving that a go?

There was also a thread on here a while ago about amusing active toddlers which I have saved as it had lots of good ideas. Let me know if you'd like me to dig it out for you.

jugglingmonkey Sat 09-May-15 12:44:55

That would be great, thank you.

I do most of those things exactly with DS on my days off, and it definitely helps... but DH doesn't enjoy doing those things (baby group/gymboree), and wants to take things at a more relaxed pace over the weekend. I end up doing them on my own with DS, or we all end up in the house going stir crazy.

DH did say he'd start taking DS swimming but it hasn't happened. I newly pregnant and v tired so wish he'd take some of the responsibility for amusing DS too. They're both currently napping... How ironic!

HoggleHoggle Sat 09-May-15 15:58:18

I actually find weekends really difficult...you have an extra pair of hands at least, but the groups don't run and we're out of our usual routine so it weirdly feels harder.

Hope things improve...I'm feeling like it's a slog at the moment but it's probably just a phase. I hope!

Here's the thread - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2339328-What-does-your-v-active-2-year-old-play-with

Racheyg Sat 09-May-15 17:36:27

Monkey.......are you talking about my ds? I feel your pain as you have just listed everything about my ds who is 22 months. (Iam also 37 weeks pregnant)

Ds is teething at the moment and he is really struggling with it, he is also frustrated with his speech as he has only 4 words, could this be an issue with your ds?

My oh also gets frustrated with him and shouts at him I like you try to take a moment away but yesterday I did cry as he had the mother of all tantrums in a car park.

Hope things improve for you xx

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