Loud toddler (screams in shops)(9 Posts)
My Dd is 19 months old, she has always had a loud cry and been pretty high maintenance but now she's older I feel really uncomfortable in public with her behaviour. I see other toddlers sat peacefully in their pushchair whilst mummy does a shop. Not mine! I go out armed with snacks but she wants anything else that she sees and just screams the place down from beginning to end of being in a shop! Whether it be boots, a book shop or a food shop she shouts about it! What do I do?! My ds who is now 5 was not this bad! xx
Ignore her. And ignore the grumpy and judgmental stares from Joe Public (who all seem to have perfect children, the bastards!).
Don't try to placate with food, sweets, toys. Just tell her what you are about to do, and just get on with it. Ask her to help you put things in the trolley. Best to start with non breakables!
Talk calmly, giving a commentary on what you are doing and asking her questions, ignoring the screams eg 'so shall I get the Aussie shampoo becaus it's on offer, or the own brand? What do you think? The yellow one or the red one? , so nappy aisle or makeup next? You choose. That's one botlle, 2 bottles, 3 bottles of wine for mummy, is that enough do you think ? And then giggle' That type of thing. Don't rise to the bait. Ever.
She's playing you. Bless her. My DD did the same and now she's a fabulous 15yo.
Aww thanks I know she's so willfull! Funny that now she won't go for a nap, she's up there screaming the house down! Usually she has 3 hours but not today, the one day that I am alone with her for the whole day as daddy and brother have gone to the football! Driving me insane! She can scream until I've eaten anyway! x
See, she knows you are in your own and more vulnerable. They are canny buggers like that. My DD used to scream and throw stuff and refuse to let me get her dressed (tried holding her down but it didn't work). But only on a Friday (my non working day) and she would play up so much. Used to take her quite often to nursery still in Pjs, with a pile of clothes as I just could not get her dressed. They'd look astonished and say 'really? But she's such a lovely calm, polite little girl, I can't believe she'd ever do that'. And potty training. Aargh. She would scream and go stiff as a board if I tried to get her anywhere near the loo, but when daddy came along she would just climb up, do her stuff and get down again. Oooooh. Took the patience of a saint (which I don't have). And then I tried time outs. So she would misbehave or do something I'd expressly told her not to, and she'd do the deed then calmly ask if she should now go to the naughty step for her time out. 'Me 2 so 2 minutes mummy?'. Mind games I'm telling you, mind games. It's like intellectual warfare sometimes, raising kids. It is.
And what did I learn from this? Stay calm, ignore it, praise the good stuff (a lot), understand that no-one is perfect (even yourself!! ), And give clear instructions once. Then a reminder, then stop and execute whatever sanction/course of action you have said you will. Praise/ reward works better though. And the best ever piece of behavioural advice I was given when you are at the end of your tether, they won't behave, or are behaving really badly, is give them a way out. Give them a graceful way to exit from the tantrum/ pig headedness. 'After all that shouting I thought I might sit down with tea and a biscuit to watch the telly. I'll be here if you want to see in the Night garden'. And then just leave them to make their own decision. That one really works and they usually come running. And don't mention any of it again.
Hang in there
Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.
Ooh I missed the controversial post. Was it something I said , or just a general rant?
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