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Grandparents / potty training / discipline / have i done my child a disservice?

(3 Posts)
GingerDoodle Tue 05-May-15 12:30:29

Its been a heck of a weekend and i'm feeling rather less than confident in my parenting skills! I'd really appreciate any advice?


DD (2.7) is my folks only grandchild and my mum thinks the sun shines out of her and DD is essentially the reason for her existence!! DD adores her but its becoming a real problem that whenever they visit DM will focus 100% on giving DD whatever she wants / playing / talking / interacting so much so that DD massively tries to play her off against me (MUM GO WAY!!) and is so fried when they leave its temper tantrum ahoys. I've tried gently (and not so gently) talking to DM and it improved but only marginally.

Potty training

DD is very strong minded (and generally does things on her own timetable!) first sat on a potty a for a wee at 12 months. I've not really pushed the issue but she decided around Christmas that she would use knickers and the potty (after 9 months of massive meltdowns about the prospect of knickers and basically viewing anything on her bottom half except PJ's as a nappy?!). She's basically there during the day with 2 issues - she won't use a toilet or potty when out and about (she asks for a pull up) and she's never poo'ed without a nappy / pull-up (she asks). She has also refused a nappy at bed time a few times and its gone well in the main. I wasn't really worried about it until my Polish friend who was visiting yesterday was horrified about it - apparently in Europe and India children are trained at 12 months as later causes incontinence issues in later life!

Classes / Confidence

My FB at the moment seems massively full of my friends kids being really confident and doing classes - horse riding, bike riding (well balance bike riding). Whereas although my DD is confident in her own way she's hated classes since last summer (no idea why). She's been fine on her taster days at nursery (she starts in Sept), has plenty of play dates and loves museums

Im probably worrying about nothing but I'm worried something i've done is wrong and will massively affect her now!

BarbarianMum Tue 05-May-15 12:42:56

Ok, well these are my thoughts:

Grandparents - embrace the love (as long as Granny understands that she must not undermine you on big issues). Shorten visits slightly if it's all too much, or get granny to do bath/bed routine (to a strict timetable) and bring dinner/bath/bedtime forward a bit. Temper tantrums when visitors leave is pretty standard, esp if they leave just before the witching hours (4pm-bedtime).

Potty training Go with the pull-up/nappy thing for now - very common, don't make it into a battle of wills. If still same in a year think about subtly forcing the issue (my sis did this by going camping in the outback but 'forgeting' the nappies. Extreme but effective).

Classes/confidence Ignore what your friends are doing. Your dd sounds fine and classes are extremely optional at 2.7 Let her grow up in her own time.

You sound like a worrier (takes one to know one) grin It will be fine. Honest.

DartmoorDoughnut Tue 05-May-15 12:53:58

I've read that potty training too early/before they're ready causes issues later on OP so there's no winning with that one apparently!

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