7 year old being mean to her friends and siblings

[biggles321]

I would like some suggestions on how to encourage my 7 year old to stop making mean comments to other children at school. She can also be pretty mean to her older brother and younger sister. She is quite a complicated little girl. She can be kind, loving, fun and great company. But unfortunately can also make some really thoughtless and unkind comments. At home, this seems driven by tiredness, not getting her own way and needing her own space. At school, I think a lot of it is trying to get social acceptance and to form alliances, but it seems to be at the expense of others. She also gets quite bored at school and struggles to sit still on the carpet and not talk. She has always struggled with making and retaining friends and is quite immature in that respect. She has in the past become very keen on one particular friend and it might not be reciprocated and then struggles to move on. That makes her feel angry and unsatisfied, I think. She is quite a bright girl and I feel like she's running rings around us all! But at the heart of it, I don't think she's happy and want to help her.

[MoustacheofRonSwanson]

Sounds like she could be introverted, and lashes out a bit when she is overwhelmed by others (as way of getting space/peace from them). I'd recommend reading "Quiet" by Susan Cain, and also "The Highly Sensitive Person" by Elaine Aron to understand the underpinnings of that.

Then encouraging her to accept and work with her nature. That could be making sure she has time to be alone, that she develops an interest in quiet hobbies, learns to meditate fairly young, gets enough sleep, understands it's ok just to have one or two close friends, she doesn't have to be close to everyone and finding better ways to get people to leave you alone than lashing out at them (knowing your own limits and making sure you don't get overwhelmed, plus just asking for some peace and quiet for example.