3 year old development

[Laustar]

I've just put my 3 year 2 month old in a private nursery. He was always looked after by his grandparents whilst I was at work so has had everything done for him. I have started him on settling in sessions and they have said that he is having trantrums when being told what to do. I said is this not normal? and they said not really for 3 year olds this should have finished in year 2. Ok fine something that may have been amplified as I have just had a new baby so he is playing up more. Also they have said he cannot use a cup correctly or cutlery. I'm starting to feel a bit down about it all as I've always tried my best to encourage him to use his cutlery and he does use it now and again but can be quite stubborn with it. I hate that everytime I pick him up I am being told he "can't do things" like the other children in the nursery. Is this something to worry about? How can I encourage him to do this without tears and tantrums?

[cheeseandcrackers]

I don't think his behaviour sounds at all out of the ordinary for his age. What seems odd is the nursery telling you that he can't do things like it is a problem. I would expect them to talk to you about how they are helping him to use a cup and cutlery. For what it's worth my 3.9 yo is not great at cutlery as he hardly eats anything that requires it (whole other problem) and his nursery have only talked about how we can work together to help him, not just told me he can't do stuff.

If they say anything else about what your ds can't do, I would ask them what they are doing to help bring him up to the level of his peers.

[Laustar]

Yes you are right. I will arm my self next time I pick him up and tell them this. I have children in our family same age that trantrum also. Maybe just not what the nursery "expect".

[Lindy2]

Three year olds tantrum sometimes. It's perfectly normal and not unexpected when he is going somewhere new. I'd expect a preschool to let you know about any significant events but not for them to tell you that tantrums magically stop as soon as a child isn't 2 anymore. As for cups and cutlery, he will get better with practice. Children get the hang of skills like that at different speeds.