What is your experience of using dummies?

[ralv]

Hi All,

So far in 5 weeks of motherhood I have done so many things that my arrogant pre-parent self said I would never do.
My DS is extremely fussy, particularly in the evenings, and seemed to have a very strong desire to suck. So after a particilarly scream filled day and lots of to'ing and fro'ing with the decison, we bought a dummy.

Ideally I want to use it only to help him settle to sleep and not have it jammed in his mouth morning, noon and night.

So I would really love to hear how you used dummies. Would you leave it in at night or take it out just as he falls asleep? Would you use it if he was fussing when put down for a nap or just for full red faced scream attacks?
Thanks so much in advance!

[Andcake]

We used one from 6 weeks ish just to help ds settle and it worked wonders. We left it at night. At 6 months we just stopped using it tbh ds also just stopped caring for it around that time too.
I think use in the early months can help but it's so sad when you see older kids with them. So set yourself rules. But really in the early months do what is safe and gets you through.

[IBelieveInPink]

My DH had similar opinions over dummies, and I didn't want them as a long term solution.

We restricted use just to sleep times. Tbh, when dd was small, this was a lot! As they sleep a lot when small!

She developed this weird way of sucking a dummy where she wouldn't really keep it in her mouth... As a result, nighttime was an effort! She managed to settle without, but if she woke in the night for it would often struggle to keep it in. we stopped using it at night when I felt she was ready (4months) as I thought my arm might fall off from holding it in. This took 1/2 nights to wean her off it.
After this, she only had it for daytimes. As awake time increased and nap time reduced, she had it less and less. Only ever had it to drop off for a nap.
Around 7 months (I think) I started doing daytime naps in her cot, and just cut the dummy out completely. Because she associated cot with sleep already, this was fine, no problem at all.

About 2 weeks after dummy was stopped I tried to give it to her when we were out and she threw it across the room. No more dummy!

[seaoflove]

Life saving.

Some people can be so snobby about dummies. I give not a shit I could not begrudge the comfort it gave my DD when she needed it.

[TwiggyHeart]

DD1 had a dummy at about 3 weeks after a night if no sleep and tears for us both. She loved it but had a cold at 6 months old so couldn't breathe properly with it in her mouth, we took the opportunity and ditched it with no drama. DD2 won't take a dummy at all, I have tried every brand under the sun as she too is a very sucky baby. I have no issue with dummies at all, they can be a godsend, problems only arise when you can't get them to give them up (saying that I don't know any adults that use a dummy to get themselves off to sleep!).

[southeastastra]

they use them, they grow out of them

[thatwhichwecallarose]

Dummies are for sleeping only in my house! Dd had hers til just over 2, but when she got up in the morning it stayed in her bed. I leave it in at night although it usually falls out. In my experience if you leave it to full on red face screaming then they won't take it anyway. Get it at the right moment and it'll send them off to sleep straight away!

[AuditAngel]

I have 3 children and 3 very different experiences.

DS suffered with silent reflux, but we thought it was colic. We would not have survived his first year without a dummy. On the dentists advice he went cold turkey on his 3rd birthday, never looked back.

DD1 waps a thumb sucker. We went away when she was 13 months, but left her teddy at home so she wouldn't suck her thumb or bloody sleep for the whole holiday but that is another story when she was 18 months old, I was tidying up and throwing away DS's old dummies (because I didn't believe he would go cold turkey) and he insisted on keeping them for the "next baby" DD1 found them and plugged one in. We made her house cold turkey on her 3rd birthday, she went back to her thumb. She will be 8 next month and we are still trying to stop her sucking.

DD2 would gag on a dummy, never wanted her thumb.

[Emu1969]

Our little one seems v attached to his especially when sleepy, but could totally go without beyond the house. We actually lost it and used that as an opportunity to get him off it. Mostly because we couldn't be arsed to buy a new one. After a couple of days he stopped asking for it. See? Laziness sometimes pays.

[Sapat]

DD had a dummy as she had severe colic and reflux. Lifesaver. I gave it to her whenever she wanted it, though at nursery (aged 1) they removed it during the day. She gave it up of her own accord atm2.
DS 1 had dummy and enjoyed. Went to nursery same as his sister, but struggled to give it up, finally managed at almost 4.
DS2 did not want dummy, happy sucking his thumb when tired.

My conclusion: some babies are sucky, others aren't, if it makes babies happy, honestly why fight it. There are plenty of other things to worry about!

[Glossyflower]

I was the same as you only I did not last 5 weeks more like 5 days.
I breastfed too but DD did not get confused and she only had it when she slept.
She's 21m now and still has a dummy but only at night time. In the day she will give all her dummies to her bear to look after.
The use of dummies when asleep has been proven to reduce the risk of SIDS. Xxx

[Glossyflower]

I was the same as you only I did not last 5 weeks more like 5 days.
I breastfed too but DD did not get confused and she only had it when she slept.
She's 21m now and still has a dummy but only at night time. In the day she will give all her dummies to her bear to look after.
The use of dummies when asleep has been proven to reduce the risk of SIDS. Xxx

[NickyEds]

Can't remember when ds first had a dummy but he was very little (3 weeks ish). He still uses it to settle to sleep and now he's 13 months the dummies pretty much live on a shelf by the cot, he gets them when he naps. He'll also have them if he naps in his buggy but they're pretty much restricted to sleeping. They really aren't all or nothing, either not at all or "plugged in" all of the time, not sure why some people get so worked up about them. I'd much rather he had a dummy than sucked his thumb as there were girls at my school who still sucked theirs at 15 and thumbs do much more damage to their teeth.

[GoooRooo]

When DS was five days old he got very very ill and was hospitalised for a week. The doctor insisted he was given a dummy, partly for comfort but also said there is some research to suggest that dummies regulate breathing and help to prevent cot death (I have no idea how true that is - I took her at her word).
He is now 2.10 and has it at night for bedtime and that's it. We're going away on holiday just after he turns 3 and will let him keep it for that - mostly for the flight in case he has problems with ears popping, but when we get back we hope to ditch it.

DC 2 is due in September so I do wonder if he will want to use it again when there's another baby in the house. I absolutely hate the look of dummies, but he found it a comfort and I wasn't willing to take it away while he still needed it.

[loudarts]

Mine were allowed their dummy anytime until they were 12 months, after that they were only allowed it in bed and it went in the bin at 18 months

[Micah]

Love them!

Mine were pretty much allowed free access. I found if I limited it they stuck their thumbs in instead, and no way was I having a thumb habit to break..

They gave them up at 3 ish with no issues. I think I missed it more when I needed a quick comforter!

[evertonmint]

Tried in the early weeks with very restless DS1. Never took it, found thumb at 10 weeks, still sucking it at almost 7 (though now only at bedtime and working on dropping it himself)

DD - never needed it in the early weeks, found thumb at 3 months, still sucks thumb at bedtime or when upset aged 4.

DS2. Never took it in early days. Sleep appalling (waking every hour or so for months). Not yet found thumb, so at 7m we tried again. Three weeks later, he now takes it in cot to help him settle and he now sleeps so much better. It falls out as he drops off, or sometimes he takes it out if he doesn't want to suck any more and some nights he throws it out of the cot in disgust! The dummy never comes out of the cot and is only for naps and bedtime. Naps in car or buggy are without it and I don't intend to change this rule.

I hate it when people shove it in at the first sign of a slight whinge (yes I know a few people who do this), but to aid sleep it can be, and for us undoubtedly has been, a lifesaver, and it should be easier to break this habit in DS2 than the thumb sucking habit of the older 2.

[laura0007]

Ds is 12 months and has had his dummy since birth. He was a very sucky baby. It stays in his cot though. He doesn't have it downstairs it's for sleep time only. It tends to fall out once he's gone to sleep anyway

[MrsKCastle]

DD1 had a dummy, mostly for sleep but would also give it to her when out and about if she needed it. It worked wonders, really helped her to settle. We didn't take it out as she fell asleep or anything- I can imagine that causing them to wake up again!
She stopped using it herself at about 8 months- just spat it put whenever we offered it.

DD2 refused to take one.

[dm86]

Dummies are harmless as long as used appropriately!

My dsd didn't have dummies and now both need braces due to thumb sucking.

Both my dc had them from birth as i breastfeed both and didn't want to be used as a dummy lol. Only for sleep and they got put in the bin at10 months and told they were all gone. Had a bit of tears but nothing much!

[squiz81]

Ds1....introduced it when he started using me as a dummy, it was just going to be for after feeding to keep him settled, but I ended up giving it to him all the time to keep him happy. At 7 months he rejected it, just took it out himself and that was that.

Ds2...gave it to him quite young, he was always a bit rubbish with it, but seemed to give some comfort. He flat out rejected it at 4 months.

[nutmegandginger]

Like you I didn't plan to use a dummy, but couldn't do without it now. Introduced it at about 6 weeks when I realised DD was really sucky. Now she's 14 weeks and it's a life-saver, because she will really fight sleep in the day and get increasingly distressed as she gets over-tired, and often the dummy is the only thing that will help her make the transition to falling asleep. When she's over-tired she will also freak out if offered the breast (even when she's really hungry) and the dummy gets her into a calmer state so that she can feed and then fall asleep. When she falls properly asleep it drops out and that doesn't wake her up. I try to give it to her before she gets hysterical, because otherwise she's sometimes too upset even to suck on the dummy, and then it takes ages to calm her down again.

[VLou77]

Never used them, both mine slept through at 8 weeks, didn't have problems with them waking up either. Think they are more trouble than they're worth, can't be fun having to get up just to put a dummy in a baby's mouth. Stop using it now, before you have problems at age 2/3/4 which will be really tough. I don't understand why mothers do it. Baby's need to learn to settle themselves.

[Micah]

Smug much, vlou?

Dummies were a lifesaver for us, and very easy to get rid of age 3. Without dummies I'd likely be insane from lack of sleep, deaf from all the crying, and be dealing with trying to get them off thumb sucking.

I don't happen to understand why people let babies suck fingers/thumbs/have a comforter, when you can give them an easily removable dummy. But that's their choice.

What may have worked for you, doesn't work for everyone. Just stating your way is the right way isn't helpful.

[seaoflove]

I never spent much time putting the dummy back in DD's mouth. In fact, she only needed it to fall asleep - once she WAS asleep, the dummy would drop out of her mouth and she'd generally sleep soundly without it.

At two we only allowed it for naps and bedtime (and sometimes daytime, if she was being a grumpy PITA). Gave it up at three without a whimper. Probably could have done it earlier, we were just handing it over at bedtime out of habit!

It's all well and good criticising dummies and imagining all these scenarios in which they make life hellish... when you didn't use them yourself

[butterbeerfloat]

So far I seem to be DS's dummy