Coping with teasing(4 Posts)
My 7 year old son likes to be good. He goes to a small private school, which, until recently, he loved going to. My son follows the rules set by the teachers, and takes pride in doing as he is told. In fact he's a little bit too good. At parents' evenings we have been repeatedly told that they 'wish the other children behaved like him' and this has been backed up by his reports which state that 'he sets an example to the other kids' ... However, some of the other kids are now starting to tease him about this. He's not being bullied, per se, but it is upsetting and confusing him.
My question is, how can we help him toughen up/lighten up without undermining his confidence or giving him the wrong message? I don't want him to doubt himself, or his behaviour, but I would like to give him some tools and techniques for handling other kids who are either teasing him or trying to get him into trouble. Half of me is pleased that he behaves well and the teachers appreciate that, and half of me wants him to actually behave a little bit naughtily (just a tiny bit), but it's hard to actually bring myself to encourage him to be cheeky/naughty - just seems wrong and goes against what one normally tries to teach a child. (Would really confuse my other son, who's 5 and is already a little bit too cheeky!)
It feels like this is a good learning opportunity for him. He's in a nice school, and if this is the worst it ever gets for him, then fantastic, but then I also think he could learn some lessons here which will help him later, for when things really turn nasty in the playground. On the brightside he is talking about his feelings and asking for some help - which I'm really pleased about.
Anybody else encountered this kind of situation?
Thanks in advance.
Have you explained to him that they are likely to be either jealous or insecure about thier own performance. They are putting him down to make themselves look bigger/better. However nobody really likes a bully, they just try to keep the bullies sweet so that they don't get picked on. What's really important is being caring and kind and supportive of people. Your DS is all those things. They have the problem with insecurity about something, not DS.
Not a proven technique, OP, but I used to mildly tease my dd when she was young, so she never got upset by teasing at school but joined in the joke.
This must be pretty tough on you all its hard to think about them being teased. I know with my niece my brother and his wife started making an effort to tease ech other a little/ show laughing at themselves a bit more at home to make it seem a bit more normal and take the sting out of it happening at school. I do remember her becoming very upset because she'd tried to join in the cheekiness at school and she thought she'd hurt someone's feelings. It's a tricky balance to get right but it sounds like you have a really good attitude towards it all which will help your son.
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