Introducing new sibling (by another mother) to my 4 year - ADVICE PLEASE

[danielledarcy1992]

Ok so I have a little boy who is 4 this April. His father has no involvement and it's always just been the two of us. Although we do have a lot of love and support from my family.

So I got a message out of the blue from a girl who has had my ex's child. Her child is 8 months old. I have met her and the baby and she seems OK and I would like our children to have a relationship - they are siblings after all!

But I'm stumped on how to explain this to my son and how to go about introducing him to this little girl.

Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone been in this situation?

Any advice would be welcome!!

[MrsTawdry]

I would keep it very simple. Say "I've got someone special that I'm taking you to meet...she's just a baby and she's your half sister." and leave it there.

You can drip feed more information as time goes by. Let your son know right away that you're not the sister's Mummy...she has her own Mummy...that's all he needs to know.

But do be careful....you don't really know the Mother and it would be a shame if she's not all she seems and the relationship doesn't pan out. Other than that I hope it all works out as it's a lovely idea and I'm glad she messaged you.

[danielledarcy1992]

Thanks for your message.
I'm definitely going to approach this very carefully. I've explained to the girl that I'd like to carry on meeting her without my son for a while and get to know her better before introducing my son into the situation.

I think I'm going to speak to a HV/children's centre to see if there are any activities I can do with him to prepare him as I'm worried he will get jealous and not take to her. It's a lot to take in after all and it's such an important time in both their lives I feel like it's crucial to get it right. xx

[MrsTawdry]

He may get jealous but as she's just a baby it's unlikely as she's not going to be that interactive yet...I have had a similar experience in my own life but won't talk about it here...however my DC just accepted their sibling with no real confusion at all.