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Can you give me some suggestions pleeeeeeease

(14 Posts)
Taler Thu 05-Feb-15 10:18:14

3 days a week my DH collects our DD (15 months) from nursery around 5:45pm.

He says she’s generally always really happy when he gets there, is generally fine on the car journey home, fairly okay when he gets her home but then it quickly turns into her being “a nightmare”. He says she is incredibly clingy, literally wont let him do anything unless she’s in his arms. Cries a lot, especially if she doesn’t get her own way and he is generally not enjoying his time with her. I do feel sorry for him as this is their time together and she’s always so grumpy.

I spoke to the nursery a few weeks back and asked if they would give her a snack in the hope that this may help. I thought she might be hungry as they give her dinner at 4pm and she then doesn’t have her bedtime bottle until I get home (6:45pm), which I think is quite a big gap. They have been giving her a snack but it hasn’t really made a difference.

Personally I feel the main problem is that she is so over-tired. Most of the time at nursery she’ll only have one 30/40 minute sleep for the whole day, which in my opinion is not enough. She gets more stimulation at nursery than she would at home but is having less sleep there than she would at home. BUT, as we all know, you can’t make a baby sleep.

My DH does try to distract her as much as possible. He’ll sit on the floor and play with her. Sometimes it’ll work (until he has to get up and do something else!), sometimes it won’t.

My DH tries to keep her up for me for when I get home from work so that I can do bottle and bed, and I have said to him on a number of occasions that as much as I am desperate to see her, he should feel free to put her to bed if she clearly needs it.

We’d be greatly appreciative of any tips/suggestions you other parents could offer of things that work for you.


Gobbolinothewitchscat Thu 05-Feb-15 10:26:35

I think she's over-tired and hungry.

I would get her in and feed her something, then warm bath to unwind, bottle and (whilst she is having that) book in your bed, say, so she can have some cuddles then into her cot. You can see her and join into whatever bit if the routine you come home at

I would also speak to the nursery. I have a 25 month old and a 12 month old. They are both excellent daytime and nap sleepers (not bumming - they just are and sure it's nothing I've done!) and that is not enough sleep during the day. As you day, the nursery can't firce her to sleep, but I'd want to know that they had done everything they reasonably could to ensure she had a longer nap than that

Gobbolinothewitchscat Thu 05-Feb-15 10:29:12

Sorry - should have said, only my 25month old goes to nursery for 2 afternoons a week so I dont need to work with the nursery on sleeps as DS sleeps in the morning but there have been a couple of days that he has gone for the whole day and been hyper-excited but nursery have been very good at making sure that he has had at least 90 mins sleep and that is a bouncing toddler!

Taler Thu 05-Feb-15 18:25:50

Thank you. We used to bath her after nursery but decided to stop it as although she was ok once in, it was a nightmare getting her changed and then the same when out. It just isn't worth it (and it's not as if they 'need' a bath at this age in the same way we do as they don't sweat).

daluze Thu 05-Feb-15 20:03:03

I'd give her a favourite snack and a drink on a way home or before leaving nursery. My boy used to be exhausted by 5pm in nursery at that age.
Speak to nursery if they can do something to encourage her to sleep longer. Does she use dummy to sleep? Maybe take a favourite Teddy to nursery, if she has one.
It does get better as they grow though and don't get hungry and tired so quickly...
I also used to bring a small toy with me when picking up from nursery - a distraction on a way home.

Taler Thu 05-Feb-15 20:11:29

Thanks. She does sleep with a dummy and the nursery has one for her. She also has a teddy.

The journey home isn't a problem, it's when she gets home.

I did speak to the nursery again earlier and asked them to try and get back to sleep, which in fairness they say they do. I've also said they should try her for a morning sleep too.

So will see how it goes...

spaghettisue Thu 05-Feb-15 20:34:05

What about giving her a little nap after nursery? (Easiest way to do this is to go for a little drive on pick up from nursery, the motion will make her nod off). Let her have 20 minutes or so. I sometimes had to drive for 15 minutes to get my ds to nod off mind.

I know some kids might not go down at their normal bedtimes, but our son, who didn't sleep at all at nursery, and so always fell asleep on the way home, still went down for the night at his usual bedtime.

Otherwise we had a tired out little horror on our hands.

Taler Thu 05-Feb-15 20:49:49

I think it could affect her bedtime sleep but will certainly suggest to DH, thank u

daluze Thu 05-Feb-15 22:37:26

I think they snap at home, because they get to the most secure environment and relax, and then suddenly all hunger and tiredness kick in. My son, although he is 2 now, still sometimes does that - i.e. is a happy bunny on a way home, but starts crying for nothing as soon as we get back. I found that with him, getting his tummy full as soon as possible usually helps. Also, do you know how well she eats dinner at nursery? Overall, I think 4pm dinner is too early for the night, at least my boy would definitely need another meal before the night. Milk may not be sufficient at that age.
Good luck - I know how hard it is when they are clingy at home after nursery, but it does get better eventually...

Taler Thu 05-Feb-15 23:00:34

She usually eats all her dinner at nursery. I agree its a little early. At home her dinner is 5/5:30. They give her a snack before she goes home, but it may not be enough

dancingwitch Thu 05-Feb-15 23:43:25

Our DC have always had another tea when they get home... some toast, cheese & chopped veggies or fruit and a yogurt. They have tea at nursery at 4 and another snack at 5 but the 5pm snack may only be a couple of breadsticks and a couple of chunks of banana. I also don't think you can expect nursery to do more than that at that time of night as it is a tricky time for them as they have so many children coming or going.

Actually, that has made me thing. Is your DD one of the last to be collected? Ours were always quite laid back about it but I know it really affected a couple of friends' children that they saw lots of other parents come & take their DC but no one seemed to come for them. Certainly at our nursery, some DC get picked up from 4.30pm. It is a long time to wait and see if your parent is coming. Although I appreciate that there is nothing you can do about this.

Taler Fri 06-Feb-15 08:23:36

I think she is possibly one of the last (will have to ask DH as not 100% sure). Does a 15 month old think that way though??
I agree the nursery can't give more than a 'snack' at 5-ish but it's only something small like an oar cake so may not satisfy her. Whilst I think hunger is part of it, I'm sure that over-tiredness is the main culprit.

Messygirl Fri 06-Feb-15 08:37:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Taler Fri 06-Feb-15 12:48:29

I suggested that to him actually a while ago but he didn't think it'd be a good idea, and I sort of agree as we ultimately want her to be okay not in our arms, just for a few moments while we go loo (for instance). Thanks for the suggestion though : )

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