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Surviving 2 under 3 tips needed:)

(9 Posts)
Ju1es22 Sun 01-Feb-15 19:58:51

Helpsmile

I've two beautiful children I'm very grateful for. A dd who's 2.5 and ds 15 months.

We had a hard time conceiving my dd and lost 5 angel babes over 5 years before she arrived in 2012.

I now see we spoilt my dd, and are now sometimes finding hard to not let her get her own way!! She was so wanted she got everything she wanted was never told no, we were still rocking her to sleep at 14 months!

Well we survived 2 under 2 just about! But I need some advice on dealing with diva strops without shouting or and giving in to dds demands lol!

Any words of wisdom or anybody going through the same/same age gap?! Feel free to ask questionssmile x

MrsTawdry Mon 02-Feb-15 10:11:39

flowers for your Angel Babies.

It's not unusual to rock a 14 month old to sleep you know....many of us do that and longer.

The only way I found to deal with tantrums over not getting what they wanted (I have 2 DDs too) was to ignore...I kept saying no and if the tantrum went on and on I would remove her from the situation or if we were at home, walk away and do something else.

It does pass though...when language becomes better.

MiaowTheCat Mon 02-Feb-15 10:44:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ju1es22 Mon 02-Feb-15 13:41:06

Oh god reading back what wrote last nightsmile I know it's not bad, she wasn't napping at all on her own without being rocked! With a massive bump wasn't good. We cracked that after many an hour of screaming before ds arrived!

She's a normal toddler pushing the boundaries I know, deep down! I think we've just given in to her for so long, she's now rebelling lots when we say no e.g 'no you can't have chocolate as you've not eaten your tea' Oh god sounds like I'm trying to murder her. The more I ignore her the louder she screamssad

Thanks ladies for replying you've really helped. Haha stropalot sounds just like dd! She even says 'I'm being stroppy' while throwing herself to the floor! Her language is very good for her, so I forget how young she is sometimes!

I feel so alone atmsad I hate baby/play group so don't go very often and most children dd's age are in pre school, she's just started 1 morning a week which she lovessmile I'm suffering with anxiety (on meds) feel I can cope with both dc outside the house on my own!

Have reward charts worked for your children ladies? Thinking of doing one for dd maybe with green, amber, red system. If she's on green by end of day she can choose a treat and end of week choose a treat to do with either parent on her own. Thinking one on one time may helpsmile

MrsTawdry Mon 02-Feb-15 14:37:41

Oh I hated baby groups and all that too! Mine didn't care about reward charts unfortunately. They've just never seen stickers as a reward....I'm afraid I use the old "If you don't put your boots on then you can't watch tv at all today...I'm counting to 3...1, 2, THREE!!" and I've explained that if I get to three then they're in trouble.

Seems to work for me but I doubt it's a popular method as it's fear based. wink

Ju1es22 Mon 02-Feb-15 18:03:48

Haha I try the 3,2,1 and she laughs at me. Naughty step is starting to worksmile no naughty step today woohoo and no shouting from me woohoo!

Problem I have is I work part time, so the hard work I put in is sabotaged by mil who has my 2 1 day a week! She ignores any routine I follow, refuses to ask dd to help tidy her toys and leaves my house a tip!! Arghh!!

Dd and I made a reward chart this afternoon. Green for good, orange for warning, red for naughty step and no peppa pig for rest of day! Can redeem herself by saying sorry being helpful, being kind ect! If ends the day on green can have a treat usually chocolate buttonssmile

I meant to say I feel I can't cope out of the house on my own with the two of them. I don't drive, we go feed the ducks, go to the library and to Tesco lots haha!

SpaghettiMeatballs Mon 02-Feb-15 18:57:19

Keep it really simple. I have a just 3 year old and an 1 year old.

I put her in the hall and tell her to come back when she is ready to behave / apologise. It works much better than the methods where you time them. It puts the severity of the punishment in her hands iyswim? I count her down before putting her out so she has the chance to stop.

TBH she has got a lot better in the past few months. The terrible twos does seem to be a real thing IME.

I wouldn't reward her with 1-1 time. I'd do that anyway. I make a big effort to do something just with her even if it's just popping to the shop for a comic. It seems really important to her and has helped massively with the changes having DS has brought.

SpaghettiMeatballs Mon 02-Feb-15 18:59:07

Oh, if you hate baby groups what about a structured activity for her? My DD started gymnastics at 2.5. She loves it.

Ju1es22 Mon 02-Feb-15 20:24:34

Will take on board everyone's advice. I'm thinking of letting my dd go to bed a few minutes later than ds, so she gets a bit more 1:1 time. We do try to do art and crafts alone, but find it hard spending time 1:1, she still naps (longer than ds) I can definetly see a difference in behaviour when she gets a bit of alone time with me or hubby. Will try to organise myself a bit moresmile

I'm trying to find a dance class that I think she'd lovesmile Finding it hard finding one that'll take 2.5 year olds.

I work 3 days a week. Dd goes to pre school 1 morning a week and both go to nursery 1/2 days a week, plus mil 1 day so lots of variation and stimulation going onsmile

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