Just don't know how much more I can take!(7 Posts)
So I should be grateful that I have 2 healthy beautiful children after 7 miscarriages. I have a 2.5 yo and a 1.5 year old. Yep 11 months apart. But most days my heart breaks as I get so angry with the eldest. He can be very naughty and what I class as ignorant. Like today, constantly climbing on my dining room table which then his younger brother does. I take them down, explain that they can not do that as someone can end up getting hurt and that tables are for dinners and not standing on. After 8 times of them doing this throughout the day along with .any other things. I lost my temper. I shouted at the eldest. I've been in tears most of the day. I'm close to boiling point. Could quite easily walk out. Me and my husband split last June and although he moved out we are trying to work things through so he is here most nights. He gets time to himself like the gym 3 nights a week and band practice another night where I am just mum 24/7. I work part time and can not wait to get to work so I can be me for a while!!!! Thanks for reading
Don't put yourself down, it's not easy being a mum, it's full on 24/7. Maybe a naughty step will help? Giving him 2-3 mins thinking time on the step when he's being naughty, will give you control back, set boundaries and standards for the young one too. It's not easy to start with, but it works! On another level, I really think you'd benefit from speaking to your GP, you're obviously struggling - we all do- and a little help goes a long way, trust me. And you hit the nail on the head, YOU Need some ME Time too! Just a few hours being you, without the kids is MANDATORY. I've lost 9 babies I have 2 healthy boys, and 19 years later I still grieve, good days n bad days- you never forget,you'll forever wonder what if, but you'll always have your little ones to love..take care x
I know how hard this period is but you have to remember that 2.5 is SO small still.
He's not ignorant...he's a toddler. parenting alone is massively hard work...is he not eligible for nursery yet? That would help you...a little break Also your ex needs to help you more and his 3 nights in the gym need to be the same for you.....you should have 3 nights to yourself as well.
Tell him that.
When my DD1 was 2.5 I really thought she was impossible to the point of actually having something wrong with her. I had a 6 month old DD2 at the time. This went on for a few years, I found DD1's behaviours hard to manage and was always angry with her. I had 3rd child when she'd just turned 4. I was seriously worried about it. It was only as I emerged from the baby fog of no.3 that I realised that she was normal and I was stressed, exhausted and short tempered. It is SO SO hard with little ones, cut yourself some slack, try and find some help - it sounds like your husband should try and do more. See if you can find time to have an honest and not acrimonious chat with him about how hard you are finding things.
When my DS was 2.5 and acting in similar fashion to DD1 at that age (tantrums, fury etc etc) I was so much better at coping, he seemed like such an adorable baby (in a way DD1 never had - being the eldest and littler ones to compare her with) that his behaviour almost made me laugh and I looked back with an element of sadness on how badly I had managed DD1 and how much I had lost my temper - but that's life.
If it is any comfort, my DD1 is the most intelligent, sensitive, adorable 10 year old you could ever hope to meet and we have a wonderful relationship - I am sure you will get there with your DS1 too.
Try and see if you can occasionally fit in a little one on one time with your DS1, even just half an hour, I am sure you would both benefit.
Your husband could help by looking after them while you go out and do something you would like to do! Is there a whiff of him having his cake and eating it here? You need free time to yourself too!
Thank you all so much. He's such a loving boy my eldest and smart too but u guess maybe he gets a bit bored. He goes to nursery 2 full days a week a Mon and a fri whilst I work. Think I may go back to the docs and see if I can get some help. Used to take anti depressants but haven't done for a while now. Maybe with everything that's going on i might need a little 'help'. Don't get me wrong the ex does help. But I do feel a bit resentful I suppose because he can just leave. Tomorrow is another day (nursery) so tomorrow shall be good. Thank u all again xx
do you manage to get them out for a walk in this bad weather? it sends most of us crazy because we can't have a walk etc.
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